I figure that since my last post was about the end of being a family of 3 that I should start this one with the title of party of 4. Sorry for the delay in blogging, but at least this time around I had a legitimate excuse of caring for a newborn. It's been a crazy few weeks.
I'm not going to bore you with the details of the labor and delivery other than to say that Mark ended up getting quarantined off of labor/delivery and mother/baby because he had a case of hand, foot, and mouth disease. Therefore, my sister was able to be there for everything and Mark met his son for the first time when we got home 2 days later. That was crazy and I'm grateful that that time is over. My sister was awesome, but I missed my husband. And I especially missed getting to see Sarah. She also wasn't allowed on the ward since there was a chance she had been exposed to Mark. So all in all, it was a lonely stay in the hospital for me and I was even happier to be home than normal.
Sarah has been a great big sister so far. She loves to hold Luke, help with bottles, etc. (most of the time... sometimes she just wants to play which is fine with us). But in the morning and at night the first thing she wants to do is see Luke and I love that. She hates when he is crying so that has been interesting (and I am glad that I kept her in daycare because of that!). But overall, she has been amazing. Mark and I are realizing exactly how compassionate she is (she definitely didn't get that from me!) and it's amazing to see her grow in this way. But I do worry that she is losing sleep because of Luke's crazy schedule and I'm counting down the days until he starts sleeping longer through the night and can be sleep trained to make it entirely through the night.
And that leads me to life with Luke... first of all, boys are definitely harder than girls at the beginning. From dealing with the male anatomy at changing time (which is far more tricky than the female anatomy and a MUCH higher likelihood of getting hit with bodily fluids) to just dealing with life with a newborn again. It's rough. And it's definitely harder when you already have a kid at home because we are doing everything we can to preserve Sarah's schedule and routine which means trying to eliminate as much crying on Luke's part (at least where Sarah can hear it) as possible. So there have been some LONG nights. And I have found myself being far more resentful of the loss of night sleep this time around than I was last time. I think it's that I know how much work it was to get through this time period last time and now it's like deja vu (or Groundhog Day, as Mark calls it). I look at Sarah and see how far we've come in 2 years and know that it's worth it. But the fact that we are back at virtual day 1 again just is painful.
People keep asking me if I will have another since it's "no big deal" once you get to the third one. I am just like... no way, no how. I always knew that I only wanted 2 kids max anyway. But yeah, this reminder of life with a newborn definitely seals the deal. I never want to go through this again. And, that being said, Luke is actually not such a bad kid. Granted, I think that's more because Mark and I know what to do this time around so we are better at this. And God knows that Luke still throws us for loops (being wide awake at 5am this morning was NOT something I was particularly pleased about). He seems to be having way more growth spurts than Sarah did. I'm chalking that up to him being a boy and gaining weight faster. Thankfully, the worst of his spurts (and, therefore, sleeping) have happened on weekends when Mark is able to help. I'm insanely grateful for that part because if I had been dealing with that during the week this kid would likely be dead. That being said, I still have needed to just walk away from him at times because I couldn't handle it anymore. And I constantly worry that I'm coming down too hard on Sarah because I'm tired out from Luke. I feel like she has been saying "Sorry mommy daddy" more often than she ever used to and I can't figure out if that is just her developmental stage in that we are firmly entrenched in the terrible 2s or if I am punishing her more often than I would if it was just the 3 of us. I just remind myself that I have no memories of being 2 years old so I assume Sarah will also forget pretty easily. She has no memory of the nursery being her room. In her mind, it was always Luke's room. We have shown her pictures and she thinks the baby is always Luke... not her. So hopefully this stage will pass by and she'll have no memory of it either. But of course that gives me that much more incentive to get Luke sleep-trained ASAP before it does cause any damage to Sarah's routine or she does start remembering how differently she was treated.
So according to my child-rearing "Bible" - Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child - life with Luke is going to get progressively worse until we hit the 6 week mark. At that point, he'll start sleeping longer through the night. I have been looking back at Sarah's eating/sleeping schedule that I kept and I noticed that she definitely was sleeping longer stretches by then. But, again, my one concern is that Luke seems to be eating so much more than her so I wonder if that will delay when he can sleep through the night without food. I pray it doesn't. I will shove as much food in him as possible during the day if it helps him sleep through the night. This is the start of week 3 so I've got 3 weeks left after this, give or take. The positive is that next week is Labor Day so Mark (and Sarah) will be home on Monday with me and Mark is working from home on Wednesday. Then the following week Mark is also working from home one day. So I'm hopeful that the knowledge that someone else is going to be home with me will make things easier. Even if Mark can't always help me out (especially if he's working) it will be nice to have someone else here. And if I can get through those 2 weeks (plus this week) then I'm into week 6 and hopefully I'll be seeing some changes. I'm just praying that the night sleep lengthens the way it's supposed to. If we could get a 6 hour stretch that would be amazing... then that would only be one night waking which would make me feel better with Sarah in the house. And, let's be honest, I could use the sleep! So we'll see... but that is my hope and prayer. What are the odds I could get this kid sleep-trained by 8 weeks?? I've heard of families that make it happen. I am going to do my best and pray for God's blessing in that area. Somehow I have a feeling that my feelings toward Luke will grow exponentially once he starts sleeping through the night. Sad, but true.
Anyway, on that note, I'm off to eat something. Luke is actually getting a decent nap right now, but I suspect he'll be waking up soon. So I don't want to waste all of my "free" time online. After all, I did pay the bills, fill out the forms for his birth certificate, read the news online, and write this blog. But there is always another list of things to do, right? The life of a mom of a newborn...
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