Well, the time has come. Luke decided that he needed some prodding to come into the world so I have an induction scheduled for early tomorrow morning. While I appreciate the fact that I get to plan and come to the hospital in a non-harried sense, it's also a very strange sensation compared to last time. But I couldn't help thinking as I sat at dinner with Sarah tonight, watched her take a bath, and read to her at bedtime that this was the last night that we are a family of 3. And a pretty big part of me right now is sad about that. I'm going to miss being a family of 3. I'm sure being a family of 4 will be great (once I get over the sleep deprivation) and we will have amazing memories. And I know I'll enjoy watching Sarah and Luke interact. But right now it feels like the end of an era and as much as I have wanted this boy to come out of me I'm now trying to hold on to every last second that he is still in me.
I hope and pray that Sarah will enjoy being a big sister. I hope that she loves Luke. I hope that I love Luke as much as I love Sarah. I hope that the craziness of being a family of 4 isn't quite as bad as I'm expecting. And I hope that everyone is happy and healthy. I hope that Sarah isn't too scared or upset to see me at the hospital when she comes to visit. And I hope that she will always know that we love her so much, even if there is a baby in the house who may need more of our attention at first. I hope my marriage with Mark stays as strong as it is and grows stronger in the coming years. I hope that we are able to return to the great place we were just getting to now faster the second time around. And I hope that I always realize how blessed we truly are and never take that for granted.
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