Recently I've realized that I put a lot of pressure on myself to make sure that I have a good mother-daughter relationship with Sarah. I know that it stems from the fact that I don't have a great relationship with my mom and dad and it is the one thing, more than anything else, that I want to change with my own family. But what that really means is that I am constantly second-guessing myself and have insane amounts of mommy guilt when it comes to my daughter.
I know that our relationship will never be perfect. I know that she will "hate" me for some horrible thing I do (ground her, not allow her to date someone, not allow her to go to a party, etc.) but I hope that these will be fleeting thoughts and feelings and that she will always know she can come to me about anything and I will be there for her. And I want her to always know that I love her no matter what, because it is the one thing that I don't have with my own parents.
But then you get to days like today... it's been a rough week. She was sent home from school because she was sick with what appeared to be a case of indigestion when it was all done. So then I had both kids at home with me on Monday and Tuesday which was tiring, to say the least. I had to get her out of school early on Wednesday because it was Halloween so we needed to get home to trick-or-treat. And now my husband has informed me that I'll have both kids all day Sunday because he has to go into work. Awesome.
While Luke is starting to sleep better at night and going longer before needing to eat, the issue is that now he needs to eat when it's my turn to feed him. So I'm up every night feeding him and then I can't get back to sleep. So I'm becoming more and more sleep deprived with each passing day.
At the same time, my daughter hasn't been sleeping as well, ostensibly due to her molars coming in. Or she's just having bad dreams... we really have no idea. What I do know is that she wakes up screaming for mommy in the middle of the night. And that kills me. The few times I have gone in to check on her it's clear that she's dreaming because while I can easily calm her, her eyes are shut, and she's basically a zombie that I have to move around/tuck back in. So then I worry that I could create a night waking habit if I keep going into her. So then I don't go in and I feel bad, but she eventually falls back asleep after screaming for mommy several times. Ugh. This morning she woke up screaming for me and when daddy went in to get her dressed and ready for school she wanted none of it. That resulted in her screaming so much that she woke up her brother (after I had just spent the previous half hour getting him back to sleep!). Needless to say, mommy wasn't happy when she came in Sarah's room and I yelled at her and told her to stop crying. Then I left the room.
Of course the minute I got back to my room the mommy guilt hit hard and fast. I just yelled at my daughter because she wanted to see me this morning. Now, on the one hand, she needs to be a-okay with mommy or daddy getting her dressed and ready in the morning so I don't want to create a situation where she'll only work with me because that's no good. But at the same point, did I go too far and did I just punish my daughter because she wanted to spend time with me? I don't know the answer. I just know that I felt like shit. Normally she comes into our room after she's done getting dressed to give me a hug and kiss before she leaves for school, but daddy just took her straight downstairs. So I ended up following them because I couldn't take the horrible feelings of guilt anymore and gave her a big hug. She wouldn't even look at me and obviously realized she had been bad and wouldn't hold her head up. Of course I then felt even worse. Now I just sit here today hoping that she has since forgotten the entire scene and will see me when I pick her up at school today and run to me with a smile on her face yelling "Mommy! Mommy!" like she has recently. I hope so. Then I'll know that everything is better again. Until then, I sit here and think about it more and more and pray I didn't just put another nail in the coffin of what will one day be our relationship.
Thursday, November 01, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Things do get better in week 6
So all of the research (and books) say that life with a baby gets better in week 6 and they are right. I don't remember much with Sarah because she was so colicky, but now that I have a "normal" baby I totally see it. And yeah, life is a lot better in week 6. Now, this likely has to also do with the fact that we made Luke cry-it-out when we put him to bed on Sunday night and he dropped a night feeding and has only had 2 feedings a night since then. It's amazing what waking up 2 times a night vs. 3 times a night can do for you.
Now, for everyone out there (who isn't reading this blog) who thinks I'm a horribly insensitive person to do this, please understand that we still respond to him when he cries at night to be fed. And if he had cried and woken up 3 times, we still would have fed him 3 times. We actually didn't think he'd drop a feeding like that and we're not sure if that was coincidence or not. We're not crying it out in order to get him to sleep through the entire night at this point; we know that isn't going to happen. But he needs to start learning to fall asleep on his own. And this was the time when night sleep was supposed to begin consolidating, which we're starting to see. Thank God. Interestingly, at the same time that his night sleep began to consolidate, his naps are all over the place. Well, I should say that his morning nap is all over the place. I used to reliably get a good 1 hour nap if I put him down around 8:45. Now, it doesn't seem to matter when I put him down, that morning nap just sucks. On the other hand, his afternoon nap continues to be as strong as ever. I can't say I'm complaining too much because that afternoon nap is the one I care about more. And he seems to go down for that nap with relative ease, which is awesome. I just find it funny because the morning nap is supposed to develop first and strongest in babies this age (and likely should be getting pretty good at the 3 month mark, which is only a few weeks away) and yet it's the crappy nap here. The one that is supposed to develop at 5 months is good to go. So weird. But it is what it is.
Luke also started returning my smiles this week... certainly not all the time, but he is really cracking some great smiles, which is awesome. Sarah definitely took longer to smile at me, so it's a nice change. Overall, he's just an easier baby. Maybe it's because I know what I'm doing... maybe he really is easier. I don't know. Now if only he would drop another night feeding...
On the other front, being at home while life moves on at work is extremely difficult. Decisions are being made, things are progressing, and I just have to sit back and watch it happen. I suck at doing that, in case you were wondering. This is why, one day, when I retire I just am saying goodbye, walking out, and not looking back. I don't want to know, I don't care. But when decisions are being made that affect me, that's when I care. So let's just say that many e-mails have been sent in the past day and I've been crying and upset and it just sucks. This latest battle appears to be over, but I'm sure it won't be the last one. And then I just get pissed that I'm supposed to be on leave. I'm not even supposed to be doing anything relating to this, and yet here I am, checking and responding to e-mails frantically, because if I don't say something I will get steamrolled. Awesome. So all in all, not the greatest day for me. But there's really not much I can say or do right now. At least the annoying part is all from work and not Luke. I suppose that's an improvement (and probably the way it's supposed to be) but it still isn't fun.
Now, for everyone out there (who isn't reading this blog) who thinks I'm a horribly insensitive person to do this, please understand that we still respond to him when he cries at night to be fed. And if he had cried and woken up 3 times, we still would have fed him 3 times. We actually didn't think he'd drop a feeding like that and we're not sure if that was coincidence or not. We're not crying it out in order to get him to sleep through the entire night at this point; we know that isn't going to happen. But he needs to start learning to fall asleep on his own. And this was the time when night sleep was supposed to begin consolidating, which we're starting to see. Thank God. Interestingly, at the same time that his night sleep began to consolidate, his naps are all over the place. Well, I should say that his morning nap is all over the place. I used to reliably get a good 1 hour nap if I put him down around 8:45. Now, it doesn't seem to matter when I put him down, that morning nap just sucks. On the other hand, his afternoon nap continues to be as strong as ever. I can't say I'm complaining too much because that afternoon nap is the one I care about more. And he seems to go down for that nap with relative ease, which is awesome. I just find it funny because the morning nap is supposed to develop first and strongest in babies this age (and likely should be getting pretty good at the 3 month mark, which is only a few weeks away) and yet it's the crappy nap here. The one that is supposed to develop at 5 months is good to go. So weird. But it is what it is.
Luke also started returning my smiles this week... certainly not all the time, but he is really cracking some great smiles, which is awesome. Sarah definitely took longer to smile at me, so it's a nice change. Overall, he's just an easier baby. Maybe it's because I know what I'm doing... maybe he really is easier. I don't know. Now if only he would drop another night feeding...
On the other front, being at home while life moves on at work is extremely difficult. Decisions are being made, things are progressing, and I just have to sit back and watch it happen. I suck at doing that, in case you were wondering. This is why, one day, when I retire I just am saying goodbye, walking out, and not looking back. I don't want to know, I don't care. But when decisions are being made that affect me, that's when I care. So let's just say that many e-mails have been sent in the past day and I've been crying and upset and it just sucks. This latest battle appears to be over, but I'm sure it won't be the last one. And then I just get pissed that I'm supposed to be on leave. I'm not even supposed to be doing anything relating to this, and yet here I am, checking and responding to e-mails frantically, because if I don't say something I will get steamrolled. Awesome. So all in all, not the greatest day for me. But there's really not much I can say or do right now. At least the annoying part is all from work and not Luke. I suppose that's an improvement (and probably the way it's supposed to be) but it still isn't fun.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Sleep training
Now God knows that this is a touchy subject amongst the parenting crowd, but I believe in sleep training a kid. And I believe in starting early. I hear all these stories from parents whose kids didn't sleep through the night until they were 1, 2, 3 years old and I think they are all insane. I'm not willing to give up that much of my life to my kid. Plus... how are you ever going to get baby-sitters? I guess you just never leave your kid?? Sorry... that's just not me.
So my sleep training "Bible" is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I am forever indebted to my friend, John, who originally told me about this book. Honestly, if he hadn't told me about it I probably never would have done it or thought it possible (since most of the posts online are from stay-at-home moms who don't agree with this) and I'd probably still have a kid who is a crappy sleeper (and I definitely wouldn't have a second kid if that was the case!). This book is great because it actually has real cited research and I think it's a good middle of the ground book. He doesn't overly promote one method over another. If you want to co-sleep, do it, if you want your kid in a crib, do it. Do whatever works for your family so that you are all well rested. It's so true.
Anyway, the big push in this book is that you have to work to get day sleep organized and then night sleep will consolidate following that. Oh... and kids need to go to bed much earlier than most parents put them to bed. Sarah has been sleeping from 7-7 since she was 4 months old and we cut out all night feedings at 5 months (and, honestly, we could have done it sooner but we were too stupid to realize she didn't need to eat, she just got used to the wake-up). I know a lot of parents (including my own) think that 7pm is too early for bedtime but I completely disagree. If it was too early then she wouldn't fall asleep and stay asleep until the next morning. And when my kid wakes up in the morning, she is happy, reading her books, chatting to her animals, etc. Much better than a screaming kid. And maybe Mark and I are just selfish, but we LOVE having that time in the evening to ourselves to either enjoy a later dinner, watch TV in peace, get some extra work done (okay, no one really likes working at night.. but at least we have the option if we need to get things done!), etc. And God knows that it's much easier to find a babysitter when you tell them they just have to get your kid in bed at 7pm and then they are good to go and basically just making sure your house doesn't burn down.
So anyway... this week I started making the push for daytime nap training for Luke. It's still very early and I'm not expecting major results yet. The book states that night sleep won't really consolidate until he is 6 weeks old. But if we can get the day routine going then that works for me. It's been 3 days now and I'd say we've had some good success. Basically, what it means at this point is that I make sure that he is back down to sleep within 2 hours of waking up. Sometimes it's shorter, sometimes longer. Just depends on how he is doing. The other big thing is that the sleep needs to be motionless sleep in a quiet place. So he needs to be in a crib or pack and play and not a bouncy chair, car seat in a moving car, swing, etc. The theory being that your most restorative sleep is when you are motionless. So that is what we have been doing. Now, when they are 6 weeks old, you can put your kid to sleep drowsy but awake to teach them to soothe themselves to sleep so that, eventually, they don't need help sleeping. Right now, at 3 weeks, I still need to help soothe Luke to sleep and won't let him just cry it out. But the other great thing about this technique is that if you watch your child's drowsy signs then you can potentially put him/her to sleep with minimal soothing and if you hit it at the right time then there will be little to no crying. So you won't even need to "cry it out." Now, please note that I am totally in favor of crying it out and I don't think it will do any permanent harm to your child. We letter Sarah cry and she is still her mommy and daddy's girl and has no memory of those times at all. With Sarah, we couldn't do the real "extinction" and had to do "graduated extinction" because we learned that she would just keep crying and needed a bit of reassurance. So we "Ferberized" her and it was great. In a week she was sleeping through the night and we were all happier. Since I have more confidence in my abilities to sleep train this time around, I'm starting Luke a bit earlier (plus, Sarah was colicky and needed to be switched to soy formula so that took a month to figure out and I didn't even think to start sleep training until she was 6 or 7 weeks old already). My hope is that I can get Luke used to soothing himself to sleep during nap times (and if a small amount of crying is necessary after 6 weeks, he can do that when it's just him and me and we don't interrupt Sarah's night sleep as much). Shockingly, I am already seeing some good results this week and today he went down for 2 naps with no intervention from me whatsoever! I put him in his crib drowsy but awake and he passed out on his own with little to no fussing and definitely no crying. So I'm hopeful that this is a good start and we can progress from here. I'm also trying to not have Luke attached to a pacifier the way Sarah was... although I'm not as concerned if that happens. You can always take a pacifier away with a couple nights of protest crying. But I won't let him become attached to sucking his thumb, which is his default soothing mechanism right now. So we shall see.
And on that note, of course my thought that things were going great just backfired because he is now awake and crying even though he just ate a couple hours ago. Argh. The joys of parenting a newborn... you never know what you're getting from one day to the next. So downstairs I run to see what the scoop is.
Until next time...
So my sleep training "Bible" is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I am forever indebted to my friend, John, who originally told me about this book. Honestly, if he hadn't told me about it I probably never would have done it or thought it possible (since most of the posts online are from stay-at-home moms who don't agree with this) and I'd probably still have a kid who is a crappy sleeper (and I definitely wouldn't have a second kid if that was the case!). This book is great because it actually has real cited research and I think it's a good middle of the ground book. He doesn't overly promote one method over another. If you want to co-sleep, do it, if you want your kid in a crib, do it. Do whatever works for your family so that you are all well rested. It's so true.
Anyway, the big push in this book is that you have to work to get day sleep organized and then night sleep will consolidate following that. Oh... and kids need to go to bed much earlier than most parents put them to bed. Sarah has been sleeping from 7-7 since she was 4 months old and we cut out all night feedings at 5 months (and, honestly, we could have done it sooner but we were too stupid to realize she didn't need to eat, she just got used to the wake-up). I know a lot of parents (including my own) think that 7pm is too early for bedtime but I completely disagree. If it was too early then she wouldn't fall asleep and stay asleep until the next morning. And when my kid wakes up in the morning, she is happy, reading her books, chatting to her animals, etc. Much better than a screaming kid. And maybe Mark and I are just selfish, but we LOVE having that time in the evening to ourselves to either enjoy a later dinner, watch TV in peace, get some extra work done (okay, no one really likes working at night.. but at least we have the option if we need to get things done!), etc. And God knows that it's much easier to find a babysitter when you tell them they just have to get your kid in bed at 7pm and then they are good to go and basically just making sure your house doesn't burn down.
So anyway... this week I started making the push for daytime nap training for Luke. It's still very early and I'm not expecting major results yet. The book states that night sleep won't really consolidate until he is 6 weeks old. But if we can get the day routine going then that works for me. It's been 3 days now and I'd say we've had some good success. Basically, what it means at this point is that I make sure that he is back down to sleep within 2 hours of waking up. Sometimes it's shorter, sometimes longer. Just depends on how he is doing. The other big thing is that the sleep needs to be motionless sleep in a quiet place. So he needs to be in a crib or pack and play and not a bouncy chair, car seat in a moving car, swing, etc. The theory being that your most restorative sleep is when you are motionless. So that is what we have been doing. Now, when they are 6 weeks old, you can put your kid to sleep drowsy but awake to teach them to soothe themselves to sleep so that, eventually, they don't need help sleeping. Right now, at 3 weeks, I still need to help soothe Luke to sleep and won't let him just cry it out. But the other great thing about this technique is that if you watch your child's drowsy signs then you can potentially put him/her to sleep with minimal soothing and if you hit it at the right time then there will be little to no crying. So you won't even need to "cry it out." Now, please note that I am totally in favor of crying it out and I don't think it will do any permanent harm to your child. We letter Sarah cry and she is still her mommy and daddy's girl and has no memory of those times at all. With Sarah, we couldn't do the real "extinction" and had to do "graduated extinction" because we learned that she would just keep crying and needed a bit of reassurance. So we "Ferberized" her and it was great. In a week she was sleeping through the night and we were all happier. Since I have more confidence in my abilities to sleep train this time around, I'm starting Luke a bit earlier (plus, Sarah was colicky and needed to be switched to soy formula so that took a month to figure out and I didn't even think to start sleep training until she was 6 or 7 weeks old already). My hope is that I can get Luke used to soothing himself to sleep during nap times (and if a small amount of crying is necessary after 6 weeks, he can do that when it's just him and me and we don't interrupt Sarah's night sleep as much). Shockingly, I am already seeing some good results this week and today he went down for 2 naps with no intervention from me whatsoever! I put him in his crib drowsy but awake and he passed out on his own with little to no fussing and definitely no crying. So I'm hopeful that this is a good start and we can progress from here. I'm also trying to not have Luke attached to a pacifier the way Sarah was... although I'm not as concerned if that happens. You can always take a pacifier away with a couple nights of protest crying. But I won't let him become attached to sucking his thumb, which is his default soothing mechanism right now. So we shall see.
And on that note, of course my thought that things were going great just backfired because he is now awake and crying even though he just ate a couple hours ago. Argh. The joys of parenting a newborn... you never know what you're getting from one day to the next. So downstairs I run to see what the scoop is.
Until next time...
Monday, August 27, 2012
Party of 4
I figure that since my last post was about the end of being a family of 3 that I should start this one with the title of party of 4. Sorry for the delay in blogging, but at least this time around I had a legitimate excuse of caring for a newborn. It's been a crazy few weeks.
I'm not going to bore you with the details of the labor and delivery other than to say that Mark ended up getting quarantined off of labor/delivery and mother/baby because he had a case of hand, foot, and mouth disease. Therefore, my sister was able to be there for everything and Mark met his son for the first time when we got home 2 days later. That was crazy and I'm grateful that that time is over. My sister was awesome, but I missed my husband. And I especially missed getting to see Sarah. She also wasn't allowed on the ward since there was a chance she had been exposed to Mark. So all in all, it was a lonely stay in the hospital for me and I was even happier to be home than normal.
Sarah has been a great big sister so far. She loves to hold Luke, help with bottles, etc. (most of the time... sometimes she just wants to play which is fine with us). But in the morning and at night the first thing she wants to do is see Luke and I love that. She hates when he is crying so that has been interesting (and I am glad that I kept her in daycare because of that!). But overall, she has been amazing. Mark and I are realizing exactly how compassionate she is (she definitely didn't get that from me!) and it's amazing to see her grow in this way. But I do worry that she is losing sleep because of Luke's crazy schedule and I'm counting down the days until he starts sleeping longer through the night and can be sleep trained to make it entirely through the night.
And that leads me to life with Luke... first of all, boys are definitely harder than girls at the beginning. From dealing with the male anatomy at changing time (which is far more tricky than the female anatomy and a MUCH higher likelihood of getting hit with bodily fluids) to just dealing with life with a newborn again. It's rough. And it's definitely harder when you already have a kid at home because we are doing everything we can to preserve Sarah's schedule and routine which means trying to eliminate as much crying on Luke's part (at least where Sarah can hear it) as possible. So there have been some LONG nights. And I have found myself being far more resentful of the loss of night sleep this time around than I was last time. I think it's that I know how much work it was to get through this time period last time and now it's like deja vu (or Groundhog Day, as Mark calls it). I look at Sarah and see how far we've come in 2 years and know that it's worth it. But the fact that we are back at virtual day 1 again just is painful.
People keep asking me if I will have another since it's "no big deal" once you get to the third one. I am just like... no way, no how. I always knew that I only wanted 2 kids max anyway. But yeah, this reminder of life with a newborn definitely seals the deal. I never want to go through this again. And, that being said, Luke is actually not such a bad kid. Granted, I think that's more because Mark and I know what to do this time around so we are better at this. And God knows that Luke still throws us for loops (being wide awake at 5am this morning was NOT something I was particularly pleased about). He seems to be having way more growth spurts than Sarah did. I'm chalking that up to him being a boy and gaining weight faster. Thankfully, the worst of his spurts (and, therefore, sleeping) have happened on weekends when Mark is able to help. I'm insanely grateful for that part because if I had been dealing with that during the week this kid would likely be dead. That being said, I still have needed to just walk away from him at times because I couldn't handle it anymore. And I constantly worry that I'm coming down too hard on Sarah because I'm tired out from Luke. I feel like she has been saying "Sorry mommy daddy" more often than she ever used to and I can't figure out if that is just her developmental stage in that we are firmly entrenched in the terrible 2s or if I am punishing her more often than I would if it was just the 3 of us. I just remind myself that I have no memories of being 2 years old so I assume Sarah will also forget pretty easily. She has no memory of the nursery being her room. In her mind, it was always Luke's room. We have shown her pictures and she thinks the baby is always Luke... not her. So hopefully this stage will pass by and she'll have no memory of it either. But of course that gives me that much more incentive to get Luke sleep-trained ASAP before it does cause any damage to Sarah's routine or she does start remembering how differently she was treated.
So according to my child-rearing "Bible" - Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child - life with Luke is going to get progressively worse until we hit the 6 week mark. At that point, he'll start sleeping longer through the night. I have been looking back at Sarah's eating/sleeping schedule that I kept and I noticed that she definitely was sleeping longer stretches by then. But, again, my one concern is that Luke seems to be eating so much more than her so I wonder if that will delay when he can sleep through the night without food. I pray it doesn't. I will shove as much food in him as possible during the day if it helps him sleep through the night. This is the start of week 3 so I've got 3 weeks left after this, give or take. The positive is that next week is Labor Day so Mark (and Sarah) will be home on Monday with me and Mark is working from home on Wednesday. Then the following week Mark is also working from home one day. So I'm hopeful that the knowledge that someone else is going to be home with me will make things easier. Even if Mark can't always help me out (especially if he's working) it will be nice to have someone else here. And if I can get through those 2 weeks (plus this week) then I'm into week 6 and hopefully I'll be seeing some changes. I'm just praying that the night sleep lengthens the way it's supposed to. If we could get a 6 hour stretch that would be amazing... then that would only be one night waking which would make me feel better with Sarah in the house. And, let's be honest, I could use the sleep! So we'll see... but that is my hope and prayer. What are the odds I could get this kid sleep-trained by 8 weeks?? I've heard of families that make it happen. I am going to do my best and pray for God's blessing in that area. Somehow I have a feeling that my feelings toward Luke will grow exponentially once he starts sleeping through the night. Sad, but true.
Anyway, on that note, I'm off to eat something. Luke is actually getting a decent nap right now, but I suspect he'll be waking up soon. So I don't want to waste all of my "free" time online. After all, I did pay the bills, fill out the forms for his birth certificate, read the news online, and write this blog. But there is always another list of things to do, right? The life of a mom of a newborn...
I'm not going to bore you with the details of the labor and delivery other than to say that Mark ended up getting quarantined off of labor/delivery and mother/baby because he had a case of hand, foot, and mouth disease. Therefore, my sister was able to be there for everything and Mark met his son for the first time when we got home 2 days later. That was crazy and I'm grateful that that time is over. My sister was awesome, but I missed my husband. And I especially missed getting to see Sarah. She also wasn't allowed on the ward since there was a chance she had been exposed to Mark. So all in all, it was a lonely stay in the hospital for me and I was even happier to be home than normal.
Sarah has been a great big sister so far. She loves to hold Luke, help with bottles, etc. (most of the time... sometimes she just wants to play which is fine with us). But in the morning and at night the first thing she wants to do is see Luke and I love that. She hates when he is crying so that has been interesting (and I am glad that I kept her in daycare because of that!). But overall, she has been amazing. Mark and I are realizing exactly how compassionate she is (she definitely didn't get that from me!) and it's amazing to see her grow in this way. But I do worry that she is losing sleep because of Luke's crazy schedule and I'm counting down the days until he starts sleeping longer through the night and can be sleep trained to make it entirely through the night.
And that leads me to life with Luke... first of all, boys are definitely harder than girls at the beginning. From dealing with the male anatomy at changing time (which is far more tricky than the female anatomy and a MUCH higher likelihood of getting hit with bodily fluids) to just dealing with life with a newborn again. It's rough. And it's definitely harder when you already have a kid at home because we are doing everything we can to preserve Sarah's schedule and routine which means trying to eliminate as much crying on Luke's part (at least where Sarah can hear it) as possible. So there have been some LONG nights. And I have found myself being far more resentful of the loss of night sleep this time around than I was last time. I think it's that I know how much work it was to get through this time period last time and now it's like deja vu (or Groundhog Day, as Mark calls it). I look at Sarah and see how far we've come in 2 years and know that it's worth it. But the fact that we are back at virtual day 1 again just is painful.
People keep asking me if I will have another since it's "no big deal" once you get to the third one. I am just like... no way, no how. I always knew that I only wanted 2 kids max anyway. But yeah, this reminder of life with a newborn definitely seals the deal. I never want to go through this again. And, that being said, Luke is actually not such a bad kid. Granted, I think that's more because Mark and I know what to do this time around so we are better at this. And God knows that Luke still throws us for loops (being wide awake at 5am this morning was NOT something I was particularly pleased about). He seems to be having way more growth spurts than Sarah did. I'm chalking that up to him being a boy and gaining weight faster. Thankfully, the worst of his spurts (and, therefore, sleeping) have happened on weekends when Mark is able to help. I'm insanely grateful for that part because if I had been dealing with that during the week this kid would likely be dead. That being said, I still have needed to just walk away from him at times because I couldn't handle it anymore. And I constantly worry that I'm coming down too hard on Sarah because I'm tired out from Luke. I feel like she has been saying "Sorry mommy daddy" more often than she ever used to and I can't figure out if that is just her developmental stage in that we are firmly entrenched in the terrible 2s or if I am punishing her more often than I would if it was just the 3 of us. I just remind myself that I have no memories of being 2 years old so I assume Sarah will also forget pretty easily. She has no memory of the nursery being her room. In her mind, it was always Luke's room. We have shown her pictures and she thinks the baby is always Luke... not her. So hopefully this stage will pass by and she'll have no memory of it either. But of course that gives me that much more incentive to get Luke sleep-trained ASAP before it does cause any damage to Sarah's routine or she does start remembering how differently she was treated.
So according to my child-rearing "Bible" - Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child - life with Luke is going to get progressively worse until we hit the 6 week mark. At that point, he'll start sleeping longer through the night. I have been looking back at Sarah's eating/sleeping schedule that I kept and I noticed that she definitely was sleeping longer stretches by then. But, again, my one concern is that Luke seems to be eating so much more than her so I wonder if that will delay when he can sleep through the night without food. I pray it doesn't. I will shove as much food in him as possible during the day if it helps him sleep through the night. This is the start of week 3 so I've got 3 weeks left after this, give or take. The positive is that next week is Labor Day so Mark (and Sarah) will be home on Monday with me and Mark is working from home on Wednesday. Then the following week Mark is also working from home one day. So I'm hopeful that the knowledge that someone else is going to be home with me will make things easier. Even if Mark can't always help me out (especially if he's working) it will be nice to have someone else here. And if I can get through those 2 weeks (plus this week) then I'm into week 6 and hopefully I'll be seeing some changes. I'm just praying that the night sleep lengthens the way it's supposed to. If we could get a 6 hour stretch that would be amazing... then that would only be one night waking which would make me feel better with Sarah in the house. And, let's be honest, I could use the sleep! So we'll see... but that is my hope and prayer. What are the odds I could get this kid sleep-trained by 8 weeks?? I've heard of families that make it happen. I am going to do my best and pray for God's blessing in that area. Somehow I have a feeling that my feelings toward Luke will grow exponentially once he starts sleeping through the night. Sad, but true.
Anyway, on that note, I'm off to eat something. Luke is actually getting a decent nap right now, but I suspect he'll be waking up soon. So I don't want to waste all of my "free" time online. After all, I did pay the bills, fill out the forms for his birth certificate, read the news online, and write this blog. But there is always another list of things to do, right? The life of a mom of a newborn...
Friday, August 10, 2012
Last night as a family of 3
Well, the time has come. Luke decided that he needed some prodding to come into the world so I have an induction scheduled for early tomorrow morning. While I appreciate the fact that I get to plan and come to the hospital in a non-harried sense, it's also a very strange sensation compared to last time. But I couldn't help thinking as I sat at dinner with Sarah tonight, watched her take a bath, and read to her at bedtime that this was the last night that we are a family of 3. And a pretty big part of me right now is sad about that. I'm going to miss being a family of 3. I'm sure being a family of 4 will be great (once I get over the sleep deprivation) and we will have amazing memories. And I know I'll enjoy watching Sarah and Luke interact. But right now it feels like the end of an era and as much as I have wanted this boy to come out of me I'm now trying to hold on to every last second that he is still in me.
I hope and pray that Sarah will enjoy being a big sister. I hope that she loves Luke. I hope that I love Luke as much as I love Sarah. I hope that the craziness of being a family of 4 isn't quite as bad as I'm expecting. And I hope that everyone is happy and healthy. I hope that Sarah isn't too scared or upset to see me at the hospital when she comes to visit. And I hope that she will always know that we love her so much, even if there is a baby in the house who may need more of our attention at first. I hope my marriage with Mark stays as strong as it is and grows stronger in the coming years. I hope that we are able to return to the great place we were just getting to now faster the second time around. And I hope that I always realize how blessed we truly are and never take that for granted.
I hope and pray that Sarah will enjoy being a big sister. I hope that she loves Luke. I hope that I love Luke as much as I love Sarah. I hope that the craziness of being a family of 4 isn't quite as bad as I'm expecting. And I hope that everyone is happy and healthy. I hope that Sarah isn't too scared or upset to see me at the hospital when she comes to visit. And I hope that she will always know that we love her so much, even if there is a baby in the house who may need more of our attention at first. I hope my marriage with Mark stays as strong as it is and grows stronger in the coming years. I hope that we are able to return to the great place we were just getting to now faster the second time around. And I hope that I always realize how blessed we truly are and never take that for granted.
Wednesday, August 08, 2012
Waiting, waiting, waiting...
It's been a rough week here as I continue waiting for this little one to show up. A lot of disappointment in the fact that he's just not here yet. I've been dilated (to 4cm) and effaced (to at least 80%) for a week now and still nothing. I've been dilated and effaced for 3 weeks (to a lesser extent, of course) and have been having more and more contractions, but still nothing. At this point, I just want this kid out of me.
Everyone I see is in shock that the kid hasn't fallen out of me yet. Every nurse and OB continues to warn me that I won't have much time to get to the hospital because I'm so far along. And yet, this kid doesn't want to come out. I know that this probably means that the labor and delivery will be quick. But I am just so sick of being pregnant (and wondering if I'll even be able to get an epidural this time) that I want it over with now. And every time someone expresses their shock that I'm still here and not in labor it just rubs me the wrong way and I want to scream or cry or throw something because I want this pregnancy over with.
I definitely have hit rock bottom for me as of yesterday night/this morning. I'm now crying a ton. I hate the way I look... I'm getting more and more stretch marks, something I never got with my daughter. So I'm wondering if my body will return back to normal like I did with Sarah, or if this is it and my body is now just going to look older and more worn out, which is depressing to say the least. And then my temper is getting shorter and shorter with my daughter, even though this obviously isn't her fault. And I hate that I'm taking it out on her. So then I just try not to say anything and basically become a mute. So that's not any better. Needless to say, this is a time in my life that I hope to forget very quickly. And it's sad that I don't have positive memories from this pregnancy to one day tell my son (assuming he ever arrives). Instead all I can think to say is, why didn't you come sooner so that mommy could feel better? Or, I feel like a complete waste of space on earth right now. I'm meant to be a productive member of society and instead I sit here waiting and waiting and wasting so much time. How do people just sit around all day? I can't do it. I want to go back to work right now if this is the alternative. And then I remind myself that I have an entire semester off... I won't go back to work until January. And I wonder if I can make it through that very long stretch of time.
This has been such a long pregnancy. We started trying in August, got pregnant, had a miscarriage, tried again, and now here I am... a year later (which I know is really nothing compared to what many people go through). But for a couple that said we weren't going to try that hard to have another because we weren't going to "die" if we only had one kid, this is a really long time for me. I'm feeling very old. And mostly, I just miss feeling like myself. I feel like Mark and I had just finally gotten back to a good place for our marriage - spending more quality time together, enjoying each other's company more, etc. and that was all because of Sarah's schedule and independence. Now we're taking two steps back and increasing our work load exponentially (according to what everyone tells me) and I wonder if we'll be able to get back to that point in another 2 years. And then I think... wow... another 2 years to wait to maybe hit a good point in marriage again. What the hell are we doing?
I'm really hoping that I'm going to be able to appreciate this boy when he comes out. As I stated in an earlier post, I already have a lot of trepidation about having a boy. Now that he is taking so long to arrive and this pregnancy is so different from the previous one, I feel like that is tainting my opinion of him too. I have told a few people close to me about this and I think they all think I'm joking or that everything will change when he arrives. But I'm not. I really wonder if I'm going to love this boy the way I love my daughter. Because right now, I'm having a hard time thinking anything positive about him.
On that note I'm going to take a shower and wait some more. This is the excitement of my life.
Everyone I see is in shock that the kid hasn't fallen out of me yet. Every nurse and OB continues to warn me that I won't have much time to get to the hospital because I'm so far along. And yet, this kid doesn't want to come out. I know that this probably means that the labor and delivery will be quick. But I am just so sick of being pregnant (and wondering if I'll even be able to get an epidural this time) that I want it over with now. And every time someone expresses their shock that I'm still here and not in labor it just rubs me the wrong way and I want to scream or cry or throw something because I want this pregnancy over with.
I definitely have hit rock bottom for me as of yesterday night/this morning. I'm now crying a ton. I hate the way I look... I'm getting more and more stretch marks, something I never got with my daughter. So I'm wondering if my body will return back to normal like I did with Sarah, or if this is it and my body is now just going to look older and more worn out, which is depressing to say the least. And then my temper is getting shorter and shorter with my daughter, even though this obviously isn't her fault. And I hate that I'm taking it out on her. So then I just try not to say anything and basically become a mute. So that's not any better. Needless to say, this is a time in my life that I hope to forget very quickly. And it's sad that I don't have positive memories from this pregnancy to one day tell my son (assuming he ever arrives). Instead all I can think to say is, why didn't you come sooner so that mommy could feel better? Or, I feel like a complete waste of space on earth right now. I'm meant to be a productive member of society and instead I sit here waiting and waiting and wasting so much time. How do people just sit around all day? I can't do it. I want to go back to work right now if this is the alternative. And then I remind myself that I have an entire semester off... I won't go back to work until January. And I wonder if I can make it through that very long stretch of time.
This has been such a long pregnancy. We started trying in August, got pregnant, had a miscarriage, tried again, and now here I am... a year later (which I know is really nothing compared to what many people go through). But for a couple that said we weren't going to try that hard to have another because we weren't going to "die" if we only had one kid, this is a really long time for me. I'm feeling very old. And mostly, I just miss feeling like myself. I feel like Mark and I had just finally gotten back to a good place for our marriage - spending more quality time together, enjoying each other's company more, etc. and that was all because of Sarah's schedule and independence. Now we're taking two steps back and increasing our work load exponentially (according to what everyone tells me) and I wonder if we'll be able to get back to that point in another 2 years. And then I think... wow... another 2 years to wait to maybe hit a good point in marriage again. What the hell are we doing?
I'm really hoping that I'm going to be able to appreciate this boy when he comes out. As I stated in an earlier post, I already have a lot of trepidation about having a boy. Now that he is taking so long to arrive and this pregnancy is so different from the previous one, I feel like that is tainting my opinion of him too. I have told a few people close to me about this and I think they all think I'm joking or that everything will change when he arrives. But I'm not. I really wonder if I'm going to love this boy the way I love my daughter. Because right now, I'm having a hard time thinking anything positive about him.
On that note I'm going to take a shower and wait some more. This is the excitement of my life.
Friday, June 08, 2012
And another huge gap between blogs...
All right, I know that I suck at blogging as I apparently lasted a week and then it was over with. And, honestly, I wasn't sitting here thinking that I needed/wanted to blog except that a post came up on Facebook and I really want to respond to it in a snide/bitchy way and obviously I can't do that. So I'm going to respond on my blog instead, that no one knows about.
So an acquaintance of mine (really a friend of Mark's that has now become one of my friends too) apparently is going back to graduate school and posted on FB that she just turned in a class project and feels that it is the equivalent of a doctoral thesis or climbing Mt. Everest. Really??? I just read it and was ticked off. First of all, the bitch in me wanted to point out that you write a doctoral dissertation and masters students write a thesis (along with many seniors completing their bachelors degree). But even more so, I wanted to say "thanks for equating 4 years of my hard work to a class project you did in one week. I really appreciate it. Clearly you understand what it means to research and write a dissertation." Ugh. But I didn't... because it would be rude to say those things on FB and call someone out like that. But seriously... do people think before they post? Just wondering.
In other news... it's always funny to look back on previous posts and see what has happened since then. In sad news, our dog Brinkley died in February. His tests came back pretty normal in September, we went through with a procedure to make him healthier, life seemed fine. And then one weekend it was just over quickly. He died peacefully in his bed, asleep, at our house. So that part was good... although shocking to realize what had happened. I think I had just expected that we would take him to the vet and have to make the decision to end his life. But in the end, he got to make the decision and I'm glad for him. I'm also glad that it was so quick. I never wanted him to suffer. My daughter doesn't really remember that we had a dog at all, I don't think. So one day when she is older I'll be sure to show her pictures of her and him together. While it's weird to be home for the summer and not have the dog wandering around the house following me, I admit that a part of me is relieved. Toward the end there were lots of accidents in the house, lots of planning how long we could be gone before someone needed to come home and take care of the dog, etc. And now that is gone. I admit that it has made our lives a bit easier and we aren't planning to get another dog for years to come until our kids can help take care of him/her. Mark has even admitted that if we were to get another pet, he wouldn't mind having a cat because they are so much easier. The only issue is that he is allergic... so we'd have to deal with that problem. But let's just say that that is not a big concern right now.
The really big news is that I'm pregnant and due in August. We're having a boy this time and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little worried about the prospect. To be honest, I was hoping for another girl because I felt like I knew what I was doing with a girl and could handle whatever was dished out at me. Plus, the parts are just easier. But I've had 2 ultrasounds and both times they verified a boy... so unless two different techs screwed up, it's a boy. (I'm still keeping my girl clothes just in case) Everyone tells me that boys are easier, but I watch the boys at daycare and I think they are full of it. I think they say that to make you feel better... but I don't really believe it's true. But maybe I'm wrong. Let's hope...
I think the idea of having a boy has gotten easier for me during this pregnancy because Sarah has become more of a mama's girl in the last few months. She used to only have eyes for Mark. They were buds and I was the mean mommy who took her to the doctor for shots. Sure, I fed and changed her and she appreciated that... but she only played with daddy. But now she hangs out and plays with me more too. She's still a daddy's girl... but she calls for me and wants me around just as much. And that has been nice. Honestly, I've probably needed that. When I found out we were having a boy I cried that night and told Mark that I wasn't going to have any kids that liked me. Sarah was daddy's girl and I wouldn't allow myself to baby a little boy. I'd want him to love and respect his mother, but I didn't want him to be a mama's boy in the end because God knows his life would be miserable once he got to school. I feel like Sarah somehow knew that I needed more from her and boy did she deliver. And it has helped me to get ready to have a boy.
It's probably also helped that this pregnancy has been easier on me. Granted, I was really sick for the first trimester... sicker than I ever was with Sarah. So that sucked. But once that first trimester was over, things went back to "normal." I haven't had food aversions, don't really have cravings, I just like to eat. I am definitely much bigger than I was with Sarah so that has been more uncomfortable, and having to get through the entire summer before this kid comes is not something I'm looking forward to. This boy kicks a lot harder than Sarah did, but every doctor tells me that he's very active and I think that's good. Active babies are harder, but I think they're more fun in the end. I honestly don't think I'd deal well with a kid who was content to just sit around all day and do nothing. Plus, he needs to be able to keep up with his sister. I don't want Sarah completely dominating him. It has also been amazing to watch Sarah change. I think she understands what is happening (at some level)... we certainly talk to her about it a lot. And she is so good with the babies at her daycare. She is definitely in the phase where she likes to take care of dolls/babies and I figure it happened at the perfect time. So all in all, most of my trepidation is gone. I can't imagine how tired we are going to be and I have no idea how we are going to manage two kids. My friends have all told me that it isn't just double the work, it's exponentially harder. I believe them. But I know we'll make it through. And this time around at least you know that the worst is over within the first year. And who knows? Maybe this kid will be an easier baby? I'm not really expecting it... but you never know. Miracles can happen. All I know is that if this kid is fussy from the start, we're moving straight to soy formula on day one. No screwing around. I'm not going to kill myself trying to breastfeed, etc. We'll just do what we need to do and that's it.
Knowing that I have a real maternity leave this time, followed by sabbatical, also makes it easier. There's not such a push to worry that we need to get on schedule, we need to have everything figured out by the time I go to work, I need to figure out how to teach while not sleeping through the night, etc. That takes the pressure off, to say the least. And hopefully this baby will feel that and be calmer. Hopefully...
It's another adventure in our life so we'll see how things change in the next several months. Maybe I'll actually keep up with blogging since I won't be working. But let's be realistic... I think it's more likely the baby will be calm and sleep through the night (not likely) than I will actually keep up with a blog. But that's okay. That's the joy of a blog that no one knows about. :)
So an acquaintance of mine (really a friend of Mark's that has now become one of my friends too) apparently is going back to graduate school and posted on FB that she just turned in a class project and feels that it is the equivalent of a doctoral thesis or climbing Mt. Everest. Really??? I just read it and was ticked off. First of all, the bitch in me wanted to point out that you write a doctoral dissertation and masters students write a thesis (along with many seniors completing their bachelors degree). But even more so, I wanted to say "thanks for equating 4 years of my hard work to a class project you did in one week. I really appreciate it. Clearly you understand what it means to research and write a dissertation." Ugh. But I didn't... because it would be rude to say those things on FB and call someone out like that. But seriously... do people think before they post? Just wondering.
In other news... it's always funny to look back on previous posts and see what has happened since then. In sad news, our dog Brinkley died in February. His tests came back pretty normal in September, we went through with a procedure to make him healthier, life seemed fine. And then one weekend it was just over quickly. He died peacefully in his bed, asleep, at our house. So that part was good... although shocking to realize what had happened. I think I had just expected that we would take him to the vet and have to make the decision to end his life. But in the end, he got to make the decision and I'm glad for him. I'm also glad that it was so quick. I never wanted him to suffer. My daughter doesn't really remember that we had a dog at all, I don't think. So one day when she is older I'll be sure to show her pictures of her and him together. While it's weird to be home for the summer and not have the dog wandering around the house following me, I admit that a part of me is relieved. Toward the end there were lots of accidents in the house, lots of planning how long we could be gone before someone needed to come home and take care of the dog, etc. And now that is gone. I admit that it has made our lives a bit easier and we aren't planning to get another dog for years to come until our kids can help take care of him/her. Mark has even admitted that if we were to get another pet, he wouldn't mind having a cat because they are so much easier. The only issue is that he is allergic... so we'd have to deal with that problem. But let's just say that that is not a big concern right now.
The really big news is that I'm pregnant and due in August. We're having a boy this time and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little worried about the prospect. To be honest, I was hoping for another girl because I felt like I knew what I was doing with a girl and could handle whatever was dished out at me. Plus, the parts are just easier. But I've had 2 ultrasounds and both times they verified a boy... so unless two different techs screwed up, it's a boy. (I'm still keeping my girl clothes just in case) Everyone tells me that boys are easier, but I watch the boys at daycare and I think they are full of it. I think they say that to make you feel better... but I don't really believe it's true. But maybe I'm wrong. Let's hope...
I think the idea of having a boy has gotten easier for me during this pregnancy because Sarah has become more of a mama's girl in the last few months. She used to only have eyes for Mark. They were buds and I was the mean mommy who took her to the doctor for shots. Sure, I fed and changed her and she appreciated that... but she only played with daddy. But now she hangs out and plays with me more too. She's still a daddy's girl... but she calls for me and wants me around just as much. And that has been nice. Honestly, I've probably needed that. When I found out we were having a boy I cried that night and told Mark that I wasn't going to have any kids that liked me. Sarah was daddy's girl and I wouldn't allow myself to baby a little boy. I'd want him to love and respect his mother, but I didn't want him to be a mama's boy in the end because God knows his life would be miserable once he got to school. I feel like Sarah somehow knew that I needed more from her and boy did she deliver. And it has helped me to get ready to have a boy.
It's probably also helped that this pregnancy has been easier on me. Granted, I was really sick for the first trimester... sicker than I ever was with Sarah. So that sucked. But once that first trimester was over, things went back to "normal." I haven't had food aversions, don't really have cravings, I just like to eat. I am definitely much bigger than I was with Sarah so that has been more uncomfortable, and having to get through the entire summer before this kid comes is not something I'm looking forward to. This boy kicks a lot harder than Sarah did, but every doctor tells me that he's very active and I think that's good. Active babies are harder, but I think they're more fun in the end. I honestly don't think I'd deal well with a kid who was content to just sit around all day and do nothing. Plus, he needs to be able to keep up with his sister. I don't want Sarah completely dominating him. It has also been amazing to watch Sarah change. I think she understands what is happening (at some level)... we certainly talk to her about it a lot. And she is so good with the babies at her daycare. She is definitely in the phase where she likes to take care of dolls/babies and I figure it happened at the perfect time. So all in all, most of my trepidation is gone. I can't imagine how tired we are going to be and I have no idea how we are going to manage two kids. My friends have all told me that it isn't just double the work, it's exponentially harder. I believe them. But I know we'll make it through. And this time around at least you know that the worst is over within the first year. And who knows? Maybe this kid will be an easier baby? I'm not really expecting it... but you never know. Miracles can happen. All I know is that if this kid is fussy from the start, we're moving straight to soy formula on day one. No screwing around. I'm not going to kill myself trying to breastfeed, etc. We'll just do what we need to do and that's it.
Knowing that I have a real maternity leave this time, followed by sabbatical, also makes it easier. There's not such a push to worry that we need to get on schedule, we need to have everything figured out by the time I go to work, I need to figure out how to teach while not sleeping through the night, etc. That takes the pressure off, to say the least. And hopefully this baby will feel that and be calmer. Hopefully...
It's another adventure in our life so we'll see how things change in the next several months. Maybe I'll actually keep up with blogging since I won't be working. But let's be realistic... I think it's more likely the baby will be calm and sleep through the night (not likely) than I will actually keep up with a blog. But that's okay. That's the joy of a blog that no one knows about. :)
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
The circle of life
Well apparently 3 posts in a row was my max... but here we go again.
So I've been thinking a lot about "the circle of life" lately (and, of course, I can't help but get the song from the Lion King stuck in my head when I think those words... I'm guessing the song is now running through your head right now too). Anyway... our dog isn't doing so well and we'll find out tomorrow after some more tests are done what the likelihood is that he'll be around with us for much longer. While I don't want him to go right now, I also don't want him in pain. Mostly I'm just hoping that we get a clear indication of what is happening so that we can make a decision that is more black and white than shades of gray. We'll see though...
Anyway, as we've been worrying about our dog, we have also been talking about having another baby. Thus, the circle of life. Now, please don't misunderstand... we were planning to start trying to have another child sometime in the very near future anyway, so we aren't thinking of having a baby as a potential replacement to our dog. That just wouldn't work. But it is interesting how the timing works out.
Either way, the thought of having another baby fills me with mixed emotions. Maybe that's bad to say. There is a part of me and my husband that would honestly stop having kids right now and say we're done. Our daughter will be an only child, etc. However, the reasons that we would say that are that we would be in a far better financial position much sooner and, therefore, we'd be able to take nice vacations sooner. Also, there is certainly the whole "we are done with bottles and working our way out of diapers... why would we want to go back?" But we also realize that those are extremely selfish reasons to not have a child and so we go back to talking about having another one. (As a side note, Mark and I both decided that if we tried for several months and didn't get pregnant then we would take it as our sign that we were done. While we want another kid, we aren't so desperate for another one that we are going to just keep trying and trying and trying. I am just getting older and if this is it, this is it. Of course, because we said that, we'll get pregnant on the first try, which is how it happened last time.) But one of my more selfish reasons that I'm not looking forward to being pregnant again is that pregnancy wasn't enjoyable the first time around... so I'm now preparing myself for another 9 months of no fun. And that is horrible to say, but true.
I've been told that women "glow" when they are pregnant... and I know a few of them who are glowing all the time. I wasn't that woman. I was the woman who felt sick and nauseated all the time. Not just the first 3 months... the entire 9 months. I had horrible food aversions, I couldn't even touch meat (or look at raw meat in the grocery store) let alone eat it. And I was getting "yelled" at by my OB/GYN for the first 6 months because I wasn't gaining weight because I was so sick. Now, I didn't have hyperemesis, thank God... I have some poor friends who went through that. I just felt sick all the time. And when you are a teacher and are "on" all day and are keeping the fact that you are pregnant quiet since it's still the first 3 months, it's tough to pretend like you feel great when you really want to just curl up and pass out. I can only imagine that it is even worse once you have a toddler running around the house also since I won't be able to just pass out on the couch when I come home from work like I did last time. So, needless to say, I'm not really looking forward to pregnancy.
I know that pregnancies can be very different... and God knows that I'm hoping that it will be better this time around. But I'm preparing for the worst, needless to say. So we'll see how it goes. My husband was highly disappointed that I wasn't one of those "glowing" women because he was waiting for months 3-6 of pregnancy where the hormones were supposed to be raging putting me in the mood all the time. Yeah... that never happened. So basically, neither of us is really looking forward to the process... it is just a means to an end. But every time we watch our daughter laugh, we are reminded why we would do it again. And thus, we will start trying again... who knows what will happen? That is in God's control. We just know that however it works out, it will be fine and we will be a happy family no matter what.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Girl friends are the best...
So I was at a baby shower for an "aquaintance" recently and I was reminded how important it is (as a mom... or really, as a woman) to have some girl friends in your life who are a bit ahead of you in whatever stage of life you're in so that they can give you the real scoop. But these have to be real girl friends who will actually tell you the truth, even if it hurts... not the ones who always make you feel good but never tell you when something is wrong. At this baby shower, the girl who was pregnant sat down to start opening gifts and there wasn't one person in the room who jumped up to make the list of who got what or help hand her gifts and take opened gifts to another location to keep them out of the way. And I just thought to myself... wow... that is really sad for her because she's going to need to have someone to call who has been through it once the baby comes. And I have no idea who that person is going to be. I know, I know... as a Christian, I should step up and do the right thing. And, honestly, if she calls, I will help as much as I can. But this girl has burned a lot of bridges with a lot of people, including me... so there is still some resentment there. But I digress...
The point of this post is that girl friends are necessary when you become a mom. I don't care how supportive your family is... you need your girl friends. Especially because your mom and mother-in-law will try to help as much as possible... but you will also inevitably hear the "back when I did this..." comment because things have changed to some extent. And let's be honest... most of our moms were able to stay home as long as they needed to take care of a baby... we were still a single income family kind of country. Those days are long gone and that just isn't possible for everyone. Also... I have noticed (and maybe it's just my mom) that my mom will always say... "well you did it this way when you were a baby." And I'm just like... well, that's great... but this kid is half my husband also so if he did it differently, my kid might be more like him! My mom never likes to hear that.
Anyway... I feel like around week 3 of my daughter's life I needed my girl friends. Week 1 had been smooth - the baby just slept all day anyway and Mark was home with me to help figure out the whole baby thing. Week 2 Mark went back to work but things were still going well. I actually remember foolishly thinking that this wasn't so bad and I didn't know what everyone was complaining about. Then week 3 hit. It started with a growth spurt and after that I think I lost my mind because I don't remember the rest of the week except for that growth spurt (note to self - must have entry on growth spurts... THOSE were a surprise!). And I remember one day in particular when one of my friends just randomly called me to check in after I had just finished calling another friend out of desperation for help. Both calls came minutes apart from each other and I remember that I had this calming feeling when I finally got off the phone because I realized that my kid wasn't abnormal... I just didn't know that this happened and now I knew how to deal with it. So here's the story:
So surprise #1 of motherhood... you know how they tell you that breastmilk is best for your baby and has everything your baby needs for development? Well, that's not really the whole truth. The real truth (that you find out when you meet with the baby nurse AFTER you take the baby home... because they don't even tell you this in the hospital) is that if you exclusively breastfeed, you must also give your baby a vitamin supplement called Tri-Vi-Sol or Poly-Vi-Sol (made by Enfamil). It's specifically because your baby minimally needs Vitamin D and apparently you just don't have enough (although I really wondered - since I drink lots of milk - if that's true for me... but I digress). The Tri-Vi-Sol has vitamins A, C, and D... Poly-Vi-Sol has a whole bunch of other stuff in addition to the A, C, and D. But either way, you're supposed to give one dose a day (I seem to recall... don't quote me on that!) of the vitamin just to make sure that your baby is really getting everything he/she needs. Okay... no problem. We run to the store and pick some up on our way home from the appointment with the baby nurse. So I follow the instructions and give it to my kid. The first time I did it, it was okay... I wasn't good with the dropper yet, so there was a bit of a mess (note... that stuff stains everything and it doesn't come out!!! We still have burp cloths that are permanently stained with Poly Vi-Sol). But I figure all is well. As the weeks go on, it gets worse and worse... now my kid is actively refusing the vitamin and when I do get it in her mouth she screams and spits it all back up along with some milk and God knows what else. I'm just like... okay, it's just medicine... maybe it has a bad taste but I have to keep doing this. But it's just awful. I've come to dread this vitamin and really wonder if it's doing anything for my kid since it seems like she is spitting the whole thing up along with her milk (that I worked so freaking hard to produce for her!!). And now I'm just starting to get bitter. I'm reading online and seeing so many other stories of women who had the same issues with their kids being upset with the vitamin... but no one has any answer as to how to make it better. Mostly just... suck it up and deal. So helpful to a mom who feels like she's on the brink of a nervous breakdown because she's starting to wonder if her kid is somehow malnourished because she can't give her a vitamin!! Enter my girl friends...
Thank God for moms who have been there and know. So I talk to my girl friends and both of them tell me that their kids were the same way and one way you can get out of giving the vitamin is if you give your kid minimally 1 bottle of formula a day. You can also put them in their swing by a window so that they get some good sunlight on them (or, if the weather is nice, just bring them outside) to help with vitamin D production. But the light alone isn't enough... they'd still need either some formula, or the vitamin. Now... this of course goes against the idea of exclusively breastfeeding... so if you won't do it, then you just have to suck it up with the vitamin. But by this point, I had no problem giving my kid some formula. She had already had formula on day one of life because my milk was late coming in... so she was starving. And I just wasn't going to sweat it if my kid had some formula. I needed to do what I needed to do to make sure my kid was getting everything she needed. So formula it was. I gave her a bottle of formula once a day (minimally... more on growth spurt days) and threw that awful vitamin out. No more screaming... no more spitting up purple vitamin everywhere and staining everything. It was so much better. My daughter and I were both so much calmer.
But thank God my friends had told me about that... otherwise, I'd probably still be fighting over a vitamin. Actually, no... what would have happened is that I would have just given up breastmilk all together and moved straight to formula even sooner. (Please note... my kid was formula fed for most of the first year of her life in the end... but that was for other reasons. Needless to say, a vitamin didn't drive us to it in the end.) So that's why I feel like they really need to tell you these things and give you all of the options! I think that if moms knew that giving a bottle of formula a day will negate the need for the vitamin then it would help those of us who have kids who have reactions to the vitamin! And maybe some moms would breastfeed longer, or at least enjoy the feeding process more when you aren't fighting a screaming baby over a vitamin. Who knows?
Obviously this was just one story of why you need good girl friends to give you the scoop. I remember another lovely conversation (the same day) about bleeding nipples. I won't put that in a blog for obvious reasons... it's just one of the "joys" of motherhood. But the real point is that you need to find those girl friends before the kid comes out. Have them tell you what it's really like to give birth and those first weeks of life. Because at some point you are going to think something bad must just be normal and only your girl friends will be able to tell you that it's not and how to fix it. For example, my kid cried a LOT in the first 4 weeks of her life. I thought it was normal... babies cry. Granted, mine seemed to cry all day... but surely that was normal?? Yeah... found out that my kid had a lactose sensitivity - just like her daddy had when he was a baby - so she had to be moved to soy for the first 6 months of life. Of course, the doctor told me I was insane... that wasn't the reason my kid was screaming all the time. What the doctor couldn't explain was why, the minute I put her on soy, the crying stopped and I had a happy baby. Clearly I must have been imagining it all... :P So you need to have friends who can tell you... wow... this kid is crying more than normal... something is wrong. Otherwise, you never realize that your baby just might not follow the books... she may be her own little person with a body that isn't perfectly average. And that's okay. You just need to know.
Anyway... this became a much longer post than I anticipated... sorry! But I hope it helped...
Topics to come:
Growth spurts
Trying not to hate the parent whose kid sleeps through the night on day 1
The point of this post is that girl friends are necessary when you become a mom. I don't care how supportive your family is... you need your girl friends. Especially because your mom and mother-in-law will try to help as much as possible... but you will also inevitably hear the "back when I did this..." comment because things have changed to some extent. And let's be honest... most of our moms were able to stay home as long as they needed to take care of a baby... we were still a single income family kind of country. Those days are long gone and that just isn't possible for everyone. Also... I have noticed (and maybe it's just my mom) that my mom will always say... "well you did it this way when you were a baby." And I'm just like... well, that's great... but this kid is half my husband also so if he did it differently, my kid might be more like him! My mom never likes to hear that.
Anyway... I feel like around week 3 of my daughter's life I needed my girl friends. Week 1 had been smooth - the baby just slept all day anyway and Mark was home with me to help figure out the whole baby thing. Week 2 Mark went back to work but things were still going well. I actually remember foolishly thinking that this wasn't so bad and I didn't know what everyone was complaining about. Then week 3 hit. It started with a growth spurt and after that I think I lost my mind because I don't remember the rest of the week except for that growth spurt (note to self - must have entry on growth spurts... THOSE were a surprise!). And I remember one day in particular when one of my friends just randomly called me to check in after I had just finished calling another friend out of desperation for help. Both calls came minutes apart from each other and I remember that I had this calming feeling when I finally got off the phone because I realized that my kid wasn't abnormal... I just didn't know that this happened and now I knew how to deal with it. So here's the story:
So surprise #1 of motherhood... you know how they tell you that breastmilk is best for your baby and has everything your baby needs for development? Well, that's not really the whole truth. The real truth (that you find out when you meet with the baby nurse AFTER you take the baby home... because they don't even tell you this in the hospital) is that if you exclusively breastfeed, you must also give your baby a vitamin supplement called Tri-Vi-Sol or Poly-Vi-Sol (made by Enfamil). It's specifically because your baby minimally needs Vitamin D and apparently you just don't have enough (although I really wondered - since I drink lots of milk - if that's true for me... but I digress). The Tri-Vi-Sol has vitamins A, C, and D... Poly-Vi-Sol has a whole bunch of other stuff in addition to the A, C, and D. But either way, you're supposed to give one dose a day (I seem to recall... don't quote me on that!) of the vitamin just to make sure that your baby is really getting everything he/she needs. Okay... no problem. We run to the store and pick some up on our way home from the appointment with the baby nurse. So I follow the instructions and give it to my kid. The first time I did it, it was okay... I wasn't good with the dropper yet, so there was a bit of a mess (note... that stuff stains everything and it doesn't come out!!! We still have burp cloths that are permanently stained with Poly Vi-Sol). But I figure all is well. As the weeks go on, it gets worse and worse... now my kid is actively refusing the vitamin and when I do get it in her mouth she screams and spits it all back up along with some milk and God knows what else. I'm just like... okay, it's just medicine... maybe it has a bad taste but I have to keep doing this. But it's just awful. I've come to dread this vitamin and really wonder if it's doing anything for my kid since it seems like she is spitting the whole thing up along with her milk (that I worked so freaking hard to produce for her!!). And now I'm just starting to get bitter. I'm reading online and seeing so many other stories of women who had the same issues with their kids being upset with the vitamin... but no one has any answer as to how to make it better. Mostly just... suck it up and deal. So helpful to a mom who feels like she's on the brink of a nervous breakdown because she's starting to wonder if her kid is somehow malnourished because she can't give her a vitamin!! Enter my girl friends...
Thank God for moms who have been there and know. So I talk to my girl friends and both of them tell me that their kids were the same way and one way you can get out of giving the vitamin is if you give your kid minimally 1 bottle of formula a day. You can also put them in their swing by a window so that they get some good sunlight on them (or, if the weather is nice, just bring them outside) to help with vitamin D production. But the light alone isn't enough... they'd still need either some formula, or the vitamin. Now... this of course goes against the idea of exclusively breastfeeding... so if you won't do it, then you just have to suck it up with the vitamin. But by this point, I had no problem giving my kid some formula. She had already had formula on day one of life because my milk was late coming in... so she was starving. And I just wasn't going to sweat it if my kid had some formula. I needed to do what I needed to do to make sure my kid was getting everything she needed. So formula it was. I gave her a bottle of formula once a day (minimally... more on growth spurt days) and threw that awful vitamin out. No more screaming... no more spitting up purple vitamin everywhere and staining everything. It was so much better. My daughter and I were both so much calmer.
But thank God my friends had told me about that... otherwise, I'd probably still be fighting over a vitamin. Actually, no... what would have happened is that I would have just given up breastmilk all together and moved straight to formula even sooner. (Please note... my kid was formula fed for most of the first year of her life in the end... but that was for other reasons. Needless to say, a vitamin didn't drive us to it in the end.) So that's why I feel like they really need to tell you these things and give you all of the options! I think that if moms knew that giving a bottle of formula a day will negate the need for the vitamin then it would help those of us who have kids who have reactions to the vitamin! And maybe some moms would breastfeed longer, or at least enjoy the feeding process more when you aren't fighting a screaming baby over a vitamin. Who knows?
Obviously this was just one story of why you need good girl friends to give you the scoop. I remember another lovely conversation (the same day) about bleeding nipples. I won't put that in a blog for obvious reasons... it's just one of the "joys" of motherhood. But the real point is that you need to find those girl friends before the kid comes out. Have them tell you what it's really like to give birth and those first weeks of life. Because at some point you are going to think something bad must just be normal and only your girl friends will be able to tell you that it's not and how to fix it. For example, my kid cried a LOT in the first 4 weeks of her life. I thought it was normal... babies cry. Granted, mine seemed to cry all day... but surely that was normal?? Yeah... found out that my kid had a lactose sensitivity - just like her daddy had when he was a baby - so she had to be moved to soy for the first 6 months of life. Of course, the doctor told me I was insane... that wasn't the reason my kid was screaming all the time. What the doctor couldn't explain was why, the minute I put her on soy, the crying stopped and I had a happy baby. Clearly I must have been imagining it all... :P So you need to have friends who can tell you... wow... this kid is crying more than normal... something is wrong. Otherwise, you never realize that your baby just might not follow the books... she may be her own little person with a body that isn't perfectly average. And that's okay. You just need to know.
Anyway... this became a much longer post than I anticipated... sorry! But I hope it helped...
Topics to come:
Growth spurts
Trying not to hate the parent whose kid sleeps through the night on day 1
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Can't we all just get along?
All right... I made it 2 days in a row. We'll see how long this lasts. I figured that since I was starting a new theme to my blog I should change the background too. That ended up taking much longer than expected... Blogger is much more advanced than it used to be! LOL I also want to state for the record that I don't expect to keep up a pace like this once school starts and I've got grading to do every night. But at least I've got a couple more weeks to post... after that, I may run out of good ideas anyway. :)
So anyway... back to the point of my blog. I figured that if I was really going to post about my thoughts on motherhood, I should start first and foremost with the one comment that I continue to think as I read so many other blogs, articles, etc. on parenthood. (And it PAINS me as a Californian to even use this quote, but...) "Can't we all just get along?" Every time you turn around someone is stating why they are a better mother than someone else because they either a) stay home with their kids or b) go to work to serve as a role model. I won't even start on the breast feeding debate... that's a whole blog to itself. And what really sucks in all of these debates is that people feel so strongly about the way they are doing things that they never realize how much they may be hurting a new mother who would love to make those same life choices and can't. And that is the case for both sides of the debate. Since I'm a working mom I expect that if anyone actually reads this they will assume that I will bash all stay-at-home moms because it wasn't the right choice for me and my family. But I hope that you find that I'm not going to do that. And it's not because I dream to be a stay-at-home mom and can't for financial reasons. I could stay home if I wanted to, but I choose not to... I would suck at being a stay-at-home mom and I know it. But that doesn't mean that I think that women who stay at home are better or worse than I am. It's just a different choice for their family. And as long as it's the right choice for their family, then good for them! But what I absolutely HATE is when people get self-righteous about one side or the other. We are all MOTHERS! We all love our kids and there are pros and cons to both choices. But every family is different (and thank God for that... or else this country and the world would be a pretty boring place to be) and therefore we all have to make different choices in life. So I just wanted to put that out there in an early blog post to make sure that we are clear that this site isn't for haters. I'm not here to pick sides or say my way is the best way or anything like that. I'm just here to state for the record some things that I learned in the first year of motherhood so that if anyone else is feeling the same way I did they hopefully won't feel as if something is wrong with them. Everyone tells you how perfect motherhood is... they do warn you about the sleep-deprivation, but that's really all they warn you about. But there's so much more to it and someone needs to talk about it. So that's what I'm here to do. Anyway... that's all for today. Perhaps not the most exciting post... but I needed to put this out there before I moved on to other topics. Hopefully something a bit more amusing tomorrow. :)
Other future topics include (I write these down online in case I ever lose the sheet of paper I'm using):
Pregnancy isn't always bliss
Sometimes babies just won't latch on
The thin line between love and hate
Baby schedules (I'm SURE this will be controversial... that is, if anyone actually reads this)
So anyway... back to the point of my blog. I figured that if I was really going to post about my thoughts on motherhood, I should start first and foremost with the one comment that I continue to think as I read so many other blogs, articles, etc. on parenthood. (And it PAINS me as a Californian to even use this quote, but...) "Can't we all just get along?" Every time you turn around someone is stating why they are a better mother than someone else because they either a) stay home with their kids or b) go to work to serve as a role model. I won't even start on the breast feeding debate... that's a whole blog to itself. And what really sucks in all of these debates is that people feel so strongly about the way they are doing things that they never realize how much they may be hurting a new mother who would love to make those same life choices and can't. And that is the case for both sides of the debate. Since I'm a working mom I expect that if anyone actually reads this they will assume that I will bash all stay-at-home moms because it wasn't the right choice for me and my family. But I hope that you find that I'm not going to do that. And it's not because I dream to be a stay-at-home mom and can't for financial reasons. I could stay home if I wanted to, but I choose not to... I would suck at being a stay-at-home mom and I know it. But that doesn't mean that I think that women who stay at home are better or worse than I am. It's just a different choice for their family. And as long as it's the right choice for their family, then good for them! But what I absolutely HATE is when people get self-righteous about one side or the other. We are all MOTHERS! We all love our kids and there are pros and cons to both choices. But every family is different (and thank God for that... or else this country and the world would be a pretty boring place to be) and therefore we all have to make different choices in life. So I just wanted to put that out there in an early blog post to make sure that we are clear that this site isn't for haters. I'm not here to pick sides or say my way is the best way or anything like that. I'm just here to state for the record some things that I learned in the first year of motherhood so that if anyone else is feeling the same way I did they hopefully won't feel as if something is wrong with them. Everyone tells you how perfect motherhood is... they do warn you about the sleep-deprivation, but that's really all they warn you about. But there's so much more to it and someone needs to talk about it. So that's what I'm here to do. Anyway... that's all for today. Perhaps not the most exciting post... but I needed to put this out there before I moved on to other topics. Hopefully something a bit more amusing tomorrow. :)
Other future topics include (I write these down online in case I ever lose the sheet of paper I'm using):
Pregnancy isn't always bliss
Sometimes babies just won't latch on
The thin line between love and hate
Baby schedules (I'm SURE this will be controversial... that is, if anyone actually reads this)
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Trying again... a new theme.
Well, apparently it's been over 4 years since I've blogged. How times change. But recently I've been thinking I should start up again. I have no clue if anyone is actually reading this... maybe Mark has this blog on his RSS feed. Guess I'll find out. :) But I'm actually okay if no one is reading this right now... it's just my random thoughts.
In the past 4 years since I blogged I got married, bought a bigger house, and had a kid. I suppose I'm living the American dream, huh? I have to say it doesn't always feel that way (especially when I'm home sick today) but overall, it's a very good life.
So now I'm a mom with this great thought to tell the world everything they don't tell you in the books about pregnancy, labor & delivery, and life with kids. Of course, in all of the sleep-deprivation I've forgotten half of what I wanted to say. But what can you do? But I'll start today with the first thing that no one tells you in the books about labor and delivery (and this is likely going to gross out some of you so read at your own risk... if you know me, you know that I always speak the truth even if you don't want to hear it). So did you know that you're just as likely to puke during labor/delivery as you are for things to come out the other end? Biologically, it makes sense... your body is trying to clear everything out so that you can focus on pushing that kid out. But nowhere in any book or online (that I've found... not that I've done an exhaustive search) do they tell you that it's highly likely you will puke while having contractions. Obviously it's totally normal because they have the kidney bean "cups" to catch your vomit sitting right next to the bed in the delivery room... of course, if you have eaten anything in the last few hours, that is nowhere near big enough to catch everything. But yeah. Needless to say, when it happened to me it did cause a bit of panic since I wasn't expecting it. Maybe they think that if they tell women it could happen, they would be even less inclined to go through labor and delivery?? But I'm somebody who just wants to know what I'm in for so that I can plan accordingly. So the fact that I had NO CLUE it was going to happen (and happen multiple times throughout the night) was freaky. It was only after the fact when I talked to some good girl friends of mine who actually tell me the truth that I realized it was completely normal. But I felt that I should just let the rest of the world know... it happens. If you've eaten relatively recently that food is coming out one end or the other. Just know that it happens, nothing is wrong... and everything will be fine in the end. But I did think to myself at the time... seriously?? Because contractions aren't bad enough? You have to add puking to labor/delivery?!?! I mean, seriously, you're sitting there with your body visible to anyone walking in, you've lost all sense of modesty, and now you're puking on top of that. I was actually in the process of pushing the last time I puked so they had to get me out of the stirrups to sit me back up so I wouldn't choke. Certainly one of the more glorious moments of my life. And I sat there thinking... why in the world do some people want their entire families in the room with them to see that? Yikes! Anyway... that's all for today. I'm going to try to keep these short and sweet (which is hard for me to do!).
Topics to come (that I've thought of while writing this):
Why you need girl friends who've been through it and tell you the truth!
I love my child so much more when I have time away from her
You're not a bad mom if you think this...
In the past 4 years since I blogged I got married, bought a bigger house, and had a kid. I suppose I'm living the American dream, huh? I have to say it doesn't always feel that way (especially when I'm home sick today) but overall, it's a very good life.
So now I'm a mom with this great thought to tell the world everything they don't tell you in the books about pregnancy, labor & delivery, and life with kids. Of course, in all of the sleep-deprivation I've forgotten half of what I wanted to say. But what can you do? But I'll start today with the first thing that no one tells you in the books about labor and delivery (and this is likely going to gross out some of you so read at your own risk... if you know me, you know that I always speak the truth even if you don't want to hear it). So did you know that you're just as likely to puke during labor/delivery as you are for things to come out the other end? Biologically, it makes sense... your body is trying to clear everything out so that you can focus on pushing that kid out. But nowhere in any book or online (that I've found... not that I've done an exhaustive search) do they tell you that it's highly likely you will puke while having contractions. Obviously it's totally normal because they have the kidney bean "cups" to catch your vomit sitting right next to the bed in the delivery room... of course, if you have eaten anything in the last few hours, that is nowhere near big enough to catch everything. But yeah. Needless to say, when it happened to me it did cause a bit of panic since I wasn't expecting it. Maybe they think that if they tell women it could happen, they would be even less inclined to go through labor and delivery?? But I'm somebody who just wants to know what I'm in for so that I can plan accordingly. So the fact that I had NO CLUE it was going to happen (and happen multiple times throughout the night) was freaky. It was only after the fact when I talked to some good girl friends of mine who actually tell me the truth that I realized it was completely normal. But I felt that I should just let the rest of the world know... it happens. If you've eaten relatively recently that food is coming out one end or the other. Just know that it happens, nothing is wrong... and everything will be fine in the end. But I did think to myself at the time... seriously?? Because contractions aren't bad enough? You have to add puking to labor/delivery?!?! I mean, seriously, you're sitting there with your body visible to anyone walking in, you've lost all sense of modesty, and now you're puking on top of that. I was actually in the process of pushing the last time I puked so they had to get me out of the stirrups to sit me back up so I wouldn't choke. Certainly one of the more glorious moments of my life. And I sat there thinking... why in the world do some people want their entire families in the room with them to see that? Yikes! Anyway... that's all for today. I'm going to try to keep these short and sweet (which is hard for me to do!).
Topics to come (that I've thought of while writing this):
Why you need girl friends who've been through it and tell you the truth!
I love my child so much more when I have time away from her
You're not a bad mom if you think this...
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Pitiful... just pitiful...
All right... so I royally suck at blogging. I admit it! Holy moly... how did the time fly by so quickly?!? My last blog was the beginning of December! That is just embarrassing. Anyway, I shall aim to do a bit better.
I'm now on spring break for the week... haha... ironic that my last blog was entitled "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas" and now it's spring break. Oh well... what can you do? So anyway... I'm home on break, which is very nice. I needed the break from my students... and I'm pretty sure they needed the break from me. We were all about ready to smack each other (or something like that). The funny thing is that I think I was looking forward to this break more than I did when I was an actual student!! Oh well...
Of course, I have to say that this break hasn't been THAT relaxing so far. Mark and I (well, really me... Mark just gets dragged along for the ride) have been in a "wedding frenzy." Mark commented a couple weeks ago that he realized that I had been "calm" and laid back for a while... he didn't appreciate it until "type A Doodle" came roaring her ugly head. I was just like... well, we had a couple weeks of craziness right after we got engaged when we got the big things planned. And this week is my week to get a bunch of the little stuff organized. I did all of the flowers in the last couple days (well, my bouquet and the bridesmaids' bouquets were done around Christmas... but I did all of the boutineers - sp?? - and the corsages for the moms). I was going to buy real flowers for the moms, but then I found out that it would be a MINIMUM of $35/corsage!! Are you kidding me?!?! What a rip off for two freaking flowers!! So I paid $5 and made all 3 corsages. :) The boutineers were supposed to cost $25 a piece... I made 10 (1 to spare... just in case) for $5. So I'm pretty proud of myself right now. I figure all that money that I saved there is going to be paying for everyone to be able to drink pop, beer, and wine at the reception. So it's not like I'm actually "getting" the money back... it's just going elsewhere.
What else? Oh... we met with the cake lady and picked out the cake. It's way pretty. I have to send her a scrap of fabric from the bridesmaids' dresses so that she can match the flowers that she's going to put on there. So that will be fun. I think Mark and I liked her most just because it was the fastest wedding-related meeting we've had! Every time we meet with someone about the wedding it always ends up lasting WAY longer than expected. With the cake lady, it was 10 minutes and then we were done!! I was just like... this is the best thing ever. :)
But of course it isn't a Doodle blog if I don't have a rant... and here is my rant today. The stupid post office. Of COURSE they had to raise their rates right when I'm going to be sending out invitations!! What a pain in my butt!!! So yesterday I went to the post office to find out how much I'm going to be shelling out and the woman kept trying to sell me this wedding stamp set. In the set, you get a book of 63 cent stamps (for the main outside envelope) and then a book of 39 cent stamps (for the response cards). And I'm sitting there going... well, that's all well and good... but the response cards are going to need 41 cent stamps on them... so 39 cents doesn't do me a bit of good. Plus, now I've got a ton of 39 cent stamps that I have to get rid of!! So I don't want to buy MORE!! And of course they won't sell the 63 cent stamps (that I will need because I'm planning to send the invites out before the price change) separately. You have to get them as a set. How annoying. So rather than having "love" stamps, I'm going to choose between a picture of Bryce Canyon or Jonas Salk... because those are the only other stamps worth 63 cents. As my sister told me last night, "nothing says love like Bryce Canyon or Jonas Salk!" Personally, I think it would be kinda funny to have Jonas Salk on there... since I am a science nerd and all. But I'll probably get the Bryce Canyon ones instead... Of course, I'm also going to have to buy those annoying 2 cent stamps, which are the ever beautiful "Navajo jewelry" stamp. As my sister also said (it was a great e-mail she sent) "you'd think with how often the post office raises their rates that they'd have a better design on their 2 cent stamp." Yeah... you'd think... but they don't. :P So the response cards are going to have the typical flag stamp with navajo jewelry next to it. CLASSY!!! But then again, I always joke and say I'm one classy bitch... so I guess I'm just living up to it!! Honestly, if I hadn't already bought invitations, I think I'd just send an Evite for the wedding. It's easier and cheaper!! :)
Mark and I were talking a couple nights ago after another marathon day of running errands for house and wedding stuff... and I told him that I don't know how people who get divorced and remarried plan a wedding AGAIN!! Seriously... once is enough. If I ever had to do this over again, I'd go to Vegas and be done. :P And we don't have to do nearly as much as other people because our reception hall is taking care of all of the food, cake, decorations and all of that other stuff. Oh well. I just sit here thinking... this is my spring break, and all I'm doing is running around like a crazy person every day. It is NOT relaxing. All I'm doing is waiting for the honeymoon... :)
Speaking of which, I went and scheduled our shore excursion on St. Maarten. We will be going on the America's Cup Race... which is by far the most fun I've ever had. So Mark will be taking part this time. I'm way excited. :) Otherwise, I don't think we'll do any other planned excursions... it's more fun to just wander around the city (or stay on the ship and sit by the pool when no one else is there!!).
So my final bit of news (I think) which isn't really news... but something worth mentioning... we're going to try out the new AT&T CallVantage... their digital VoIP phone line. I have been SO sick of paying $65/month on a phone line that we NEVER use just because we needed to have long distance so that we could call half of our friends and family who live outside of the city limits (a definite problem with the growing suburbs... now we all have different area codes!). So we just got an ad that they now have their digital line for $24.99... so we'll see how it works out. (Mark is still skeptical about Vonage... he has heard some good stories, but also some bad ones... so we figured we'd try AT&T since it was the same price). We're currently waiting to get approved to have our phone number transfered. One would assume that since we are already AT&T customers that the number should get approved with no problem... but one never knows. :) All I know is that I'm excited to see the phone bill drop by half... because honestly, $65 is ridiculous. So we'll see how it goes. Maybe I'll actually post again before the wedding and be able to give you all the updates! But let's not get too ambitious. :)
Anyway, I'm off for now... another exciting day for me on break. I've got to get my oil changed in my car... and then it's off to run errands again. I get to visit the post office... yippee!!! Oh... and somewhere in there I need to write another lecture for my class. Hmmm... All righty kids... hope your day is going well!
I'm now on spring break for the week... haha... ironic that my last blog was entitled "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas" and now it's spring break. Oh well... what can you do? So anyway... I'm home on break, which is very nice. I needed the break from my students... and I'm pretty sure they needed the break from me. We were all about ready to smack each other (or something like that). The funny thing is that I think I was looking forward to this break more than I did when I was an actual student!! Oh well...
Of course, I have to say that this break hasn't been THAT relaxing so far. Mark and I (well, really me... Mark just gets dragged along for the ride) have been in a "wedding frenzy." Mark commented a couple weeks ago that he realized that I had been "calm" and laid back for a while... he didn't appreciate it until "type A Doodle" came roaring her ugly head. I was just like... well, we had a couple weeks of craziness right after we got engaged when we got the big things planned. And this week is my week to get a bunch of the little stuff organized. I did all of the flowers in the last couple days (well, my bouquet and the bridesmaids' bouquets were done around Christmas... but I did all of the boutineers - sp?? - and the corsages for the moms). I was going to buy real flowers for the moms, but then I found out that it would be a MINIMUM of $35/corsage!! Are you kidding me?!?! What a rip off for two freaking flowers!! So I paid $5 and made all 3 corsages. :) The boutineers were supposed to cost $25 a piece... I made 10 (1 to spare... just in case) for $5. So I'm pretty proud of myself right now. I figure all that money that I saved there is going to be paying for everyone to be able to drink pop, beer, and wine at the reception. So it's not like I'm actually "getting" the money back... it's just going elsewhere.
What else? Oh... we met with the cake lady and picked out the cake. It's way pretty. I have to send her a scrap of fabric from the bridesmaids' dresses so that she can match the flowers that she's going to put on there. So that will be fun. I think Mark and I liked her most just because it was the fastest wedding-related meeting we've had! Every time we meet with someone about the wedding it always ends up lasting WAY longer than expected. With the cake lady, it was 10 minutes and then we were done!! I was just like... this is the best thing ever. :)
But of course it isn't a Doodle blog if I don't have a rant... and here is my rant today. The stupid post office. Of COURSE they had to raise their rates right when I'm going to be sending out invitations!! What a pain in my butt!!! So yesterday I went to the post office to find out how much I'm going to be shelling out and the woman kept trying to sell me this wedding stamp set. In the set, you get a book of 63 cent stamps (for the main outside envelope) and then a book of 39 cent stamps (for the response cards). And I'm sitting there going... well, that's all well and good... but the response cards are going to need 41 cent stamps on them... so 39 cents doesn't do me a bit of good. Plus, now I've got a ton of 39 cent stamps that I have to get rid of!! So I don't want to buy MORE!! And of course they won't sell the 63 cent stamps (that I will need because I'm planning to send the invites out before the price change) separately. You have to get them as a set. How annoying. So rather than having "love" stamps, I'm going to choose between a picture of Bryce Canyon or Jonas Salk... because those are the only other stamps worth 63 cents. As my sister told me last night, "nothing says love like Bryce Canyon or Jonas Salk!" Personally, I think it would be kinda funny to have Jonas Salk on there... since I am a science nerd and all. But I'll probably get the Bryce Canyon ones instead... Of course, I'm also going to have to buy those annoying 2 cent stamps, which are the ever beautiful "Navajo jewelry" stamp. As my sister also said (it was a great e-mail she sent) "you'd think with how often the post office raises their rates that they'd have a better design on their 2 cent stamp." Yeah... you'd think... but they don't. :P So the response cards are going to have the typical flag stamp with navajo jewelry next to it. CLASSY!!! But then again, I always joke and say I'm one classy bitch... so I guess I'm just living up to it!! Honestly, if I hadn't already bought invitations, I think I'd just send an Evite for the wedding. It's easier and cheaper!! :)
Mark and I were talking a couple nights ago after another marathon day of running errands for house and wedding stuff... and I told him that I don't know how people who get divorced and remarried plan a wedding AGAIN!! Seriously... once is enough. If I ever had to do this over again, I'd go to Vegas and be done. :P And we don't have to do nearly as much as other people because our reception hall is taking care of all of the food, cake, decorations and all of that other stuff. Oh well. I just sit here thinking... this is my spring break, and all I'm doing is running around like a crazy person every day. It is NOT relaxing. All I'm doing is waiting for the honeymoon... :)
Speaking of which, I went and scheduled our shore excursion on St. Maarten. We will be going on the America's Cup Race... which is by far the most fun I've ever had. So Mark will be taking part this time. I'm way excited. :) Otherwise, I don't think we'll do any other planned excursions... it's more fun to just wander around the city (or stay on the ship and sit by the pool when no one else is there!!).
So my final bit of news (I think) which isn't really news... but something worth mentioning... we're going to try out the new AT&T CallVantage... their digital VoIP phone line. I have been SO sick of paying $65/month on a phone line that we NEVER use just because we needed to have long distance so that we could call half of our friends and family who live outside of the city limits (a definite problem with the growing suburbs... now we all have different area codes!). So we just got an ad that they now have their digital line for $24.99... so we'll see how it works out. (Mark is still skeptical about Vonage... he has heard some good stories, but also some bad ones... so we figured we'd try AT&T since it was the same price). We're currently waiting to get approved to have our phone number transfered. One would assume that since we are already AT&T customers that the number should get approved with no problem... but one never knows. :) All I know is that I'm excited to see the phone bill drop by half... because honestly, $65 is ridiculous. So we'll see how it goes. Maybe I'll actually post again before the wedding and be able to give you all the updates! But let's not get too ambitious. :)
Anyway, I'm off for now... another exciting day for me on break. I've got to get my oil changed in my car... and then it's off to run errands again. I get to visit the post office... yippee!!! Oh... and somewhere in there I need to write another lecture for my class. Hmmm... All righty kids... hope your day is going well!
Monday, December 04, 2006
It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...
Hi everyone... so winter has definitely come to the Midwest... or at least to the Chicago area. About 8 inches of snow on Friday... yippee! Temperatures haven't gone above freezing since then. Another yippee! :P I just read my friend John's blog... he and his wife just moved to San Diego a few weeks ago... and of course he had to comment on the "inclimate weather"... 60 degrees. Yeah, I wanted to smack him. Of course, that was his intended response. LOL What a bum. And the sad thing is that I remember driving to work last Monday thinking... wow, I feel like I'm back in Cali... it's 50-60 degrees in late November! Crazy!! Of course, by Friday that was all gone... now it's just freezing cold and there's tons of snow on the ground. The stellar snow removal company that is supposed to dig out my complex did a craptacular job... my street is just a complete sheet of ice since they apparently don't believe in salt. Awesome. There is so much more to that story, but I don't have the energy to type it out right now. Needless to say, I will be attending our next association meeting because this is just ridiculous. I'm not paying dues to these idiots so that I can shovel out my own driveway.
Otherwise, not too much to report. This is the last week of school... yay!! I'm just giving exams and then having my students fill out mandatory evaluations. Exciting stuff, I know. :) But this is my latest conundrum... what do you do as a teacher once your exams are written? I'm just sitting here in my office, bored out of my mind, waiting for students to come with questions. But of course they aren't coming. And I'm just like... wow... I could be doing so many more productive things at home right now. But instead I'm sitting here and waiting. Woo hoo!! So yeah... I'm bored. What am I supposed to do in this situation? Please let me know. It's such a rarity for me to be bored at work that I'm not sure what to do.
Of course, the one thing that I could do, I'm not doing right now. This goes along with my sister's latest blog post... so early last week one of my students asked me if I'd be able to write a letter of recommendation for her. I said sure... she then says... okay, it's due Friday. I was just like... wow... nothing like waiting until the last minute!! So then she's like... I'll get you all of the info on it ASAP so you can write the letter. Yeah, I got the info on Thursday at 7pm. She then says... it's due tomorrow... I guess it would be okay if I got it on Saturday. I was just like... excuse me?!?! Once again, lack of planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on my part. (I am putting that quote up in my office next semester... I've decided) So anyway, she gives me the info for this letter... sort of. It's a Girl Scout Award that apparently she's being nominated for based on some project that she did. Of course, I have no idea what this project is, how it showed her leadership and service skills, etc. So I'm just like... what the heck do I write?!?! Saying that you try hard in Biology is not going to help. So I e-mailed her and told her that I need her to give me more info about this project, etc. so that I can write an appropriate letter. Still haven't gotten anything. I'm just like... not my problem at this point. Perhaps if you had gotten the info to me a while ago, I could have written an acceptable letter. Oh well...
Anyway, on that note I guess I will go work on something. Yippee. I just found out that Lisa (a former grad student in my lab) is going to be going to AACR in Cali next spring... the same conference I'm going to be going to. YAY!! I find it completely ironic that the two students from that lab who wanted to get out of the field and teach are the two people from the lab that are going to the meeting this next year. LOL I don't think anyone in the lab is going... how funny is that?? I was amused, at least. But I'm excited she'll be there since it will be a LOT more fun for me to be there if I know someone else. Yay!! So yeah... that's that.
And on that note, I'm really off... I hope you are all doing well and staying warm!!
Otherwise, not too much to report. This is the last week of school... yay!! I'm just giving exams and then having my students fill out mandatory evaluations. Exciting stuff, I know. :) But this is my latest conundrum... what do you do as a teacher once your exams are written? I'm just sitting here in my office, bored out of my mind, waiting for students to come with questions. But of course they aren't coming. And I'm just like... wow... I could be doing so many more productive things at home right now. But instead I'm sitting here and waiting. Woo hoo!! So yeah... I'm bored. What am I supposed to do in this situation? Please let me know. It's such a rarity for me to be bored at work that I'm not sure what to do.
Of course, the one thing that I could do, I'm not doing right now. This goes along with my sister's latest blog post... so early last week one of my students asked me if I'd be able to write a letter of recommendation for her. I said sure... she then says... okay, it's due Friday. I was just like... wow... nothing like waiting until the last minute!! So then she's like... I'll get you all of the info on it ASAP so you can write the letter. Yeah, I got the info on Thursday at 7pm. She then says... it's due tomorrow... I guess it would be okay if I got it on Saturday. I was just like... excuse me?!?! Once again, lack of planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on my part. (I am putting that quote up in my office next semester... I've decided) So anyway, she gives me the info for this letter... sort of. It's a Girl Scout Award that apparently she's being nominated for based on some project that she did. Of course, I have no idea what this project is, how it showed her leadership and service skills, etc. So I'm just like... what the heck do I write?!?! Saying that you try hard in Biology is not going to help. So I e-mailed her and told her that I need her to give me more info about this project, etc. so that I can write an appropriate letter. Still haven't gotten anything. I'm just like... not my problem at this point. Perhaps if you had gotten the info to me a while ago, I could have written an acceptable letter. Oh well...
Anyway, on that note I guess I will go work on something. Yippee. I just found out that Lisa (a former grad student in my lab) is going to be going to AACR in Cali next spring... the same conference I'm going to be going to. YAY!! I find it completely ironic that the two students from that lab who wanted to get out of the field and teach are the two people from the lab that are going to the meeting this next year. LOL I don't think anyone in the lab is going... how funny is that?? I was amused, at least. But I'm excited she'll be there since it will be a LOT more fun for me to be there if I know someone else. Yay!! So yeah... that's that.
And on that note, I'm really off... I hope you are all doing well and staying warm!!
Thursday, November 16, 2006
I'm back!!
Hi everyone!!! Sorry about the delay in writing... but this time I really do have a good excuse! But even so, I can't let Mark out-blog me... LOL So here's my latest story...
Many of you have already heard all about this since I've bitched on the phone... but for those of you haven't heard... :) So before I left my lab, I wrote a review on all of my work and how it compared and related to the field, etc. Fine... it's a somewhat typical thing for a grad student to do after finishing their work. Anyway, so I write my review and we submit it in June. Now, Mary (my former PI) pulled some strings to get it submitted to AJP (American Journal of Physiology). It never would have gone there if she hadn't "invited" it in. Anyway... so I wrote the paper and Dawn (my former supervisor) submitted it. Well, I never heard anything after I left. I saw Dawn in July and asked her what the status was and she said it was in decision pending. I said... okay... just let me know. Well then I never heard anything and I got busy with school starting. At the beginning of September I e-mail her to get the scoop. Find out that the paper was rejected, needs to be re-written, the reviews were bad, but it can be re-submitted. I'm just like... okay, do you need any help? She says no. So I figure... okay, she's handling it. I've got classes to worry about. So late last month I had coffee with Ange (friend from the lab) and she tells me that the whole situation is a mess. I guess it came out at lab meeting that Dawn hadn't done ANYTHING with the paper and the deadline to re-submit had come and gone. Mary was pissed because she pulled strings to get it in and Dawn did nothing, etc. And I'm pissed cause I'm sitting here going... I could have done something but I never got to see anything!! So Ange recommends that I call Dawn. So I do... and I play dumb and just ask how things are going and what's happening with the paper. I told her that I had lots of time right then (a big fat lie... but I would say anything to get that paper!) and that I could work on it. She says not to worry... that she's going to take a stab at it. Inside I'm thinking... "take a stab at it?? You've had it for 3 months and haven't done anything!! That was you 'stab'!!" So I was just like... fine... I give up. I figured I'd wait until January when I wasn't teaching and talk to her again. Well, a little over a week ago now, Ange sends me an e-mail with the most recent table of contents of Cancer Research. And in it, a competing lab (the one that stole some of my data!!) has now published a review on my protein in cancer. I'm just like... crap. So I e-mailed Mary. I was just like... should we just cut our losses now since this other review is out? Granted... that review has a different spin than our's. So we still have a shot... but with Dawn just sitting on my review and not doing anything, that isn't helping!!! Based on the publication date, we were both writing at the same time... but they actually did their revisions while Dawn sat on our's. :P Anyway... so Mary called me back and told me she was going to have a meeting with Dawn about "many issues" and you could tell that she was pissed at Dawn. So that Monday, she has the meeting... and I get an e-mail from Mary right after saying that I'll be getting the reviewer comments. This was Monday the 6th. I don't get the comments until the 7th in the afternoon. And the first thing I notice when I read through them is that we actually had 120 days to resubmit, not the 90 Dawn said we had (of course... I'm guessing Dawn skimmed the comments once, sobbed, and never looked at them again). So the due date is Nov. 25th, not October (the e-mail was sent July 25th). So I quickly sent a note to Mary telling her that important tidbit... her reply back was... "make the deadline." So yeah... no pressure. Dawn had had it for 3 1/2 months and did nothing. I had less than 2 weeks to get it done. So I tried to get stuff for school all caught up so that I could spend some time writing this paper. I then spent part of Sunday, all day Monday, and a good chunk of Tuesday working on the paper. So pretty much... 2 full days in total. And the paper is done. I got it to Mary on Wednesday morning. She is out of town, so it got faxed to her at her hotel and she's going to work on it Friday on her flight back. I expect that I will get a copy this weekend to fix. Dawn comes back Monday (did I mention that she is in Maui this week... so she was OBVIOUSLY going to "take a stab" at the paper this week before the deadline). Because the paper was originally submitted by Dawn, we have to re-submit it through her. But Mary was like... we will re-submit on Tuesday. I was just like... that's fine. I realized that we are re-submitting on a day when Mary will be in lab so that she can watch over Dawn and make sure that it gets done. So that is the scoop with that. Let me tell you, as soon as I had to start dealing with the lab again, my stress level went WAY up. I never realized how much I had calmed down and relaxed being here until I had to deal with lab people again. I'm so glad to be out of there. But yeah... I REALLY hope that this paper gets accepted... even if it's with revisions. After all of that work, I want something out of it. And I know this is really mean to say, but I wish we could take Dawn's name off of it. I'm honestly really pissed that she screwed me over like this and I had to bust my ass at the last second... and she is still getting credit for this paper even though she screwed up. I mean, in the end... my name is still first on the paper... so I get the credit. But her name is last, meaning she gets just as much credit, for the most part. Oh well. Needless to say, this is a reason why I'd like a bit of my own research money to do stuff with. Because Mary said that all I have to do is acknowledge them in the paper for giving me cells. So my name would be the only one on any other papers. No one else. And yeah... I like that idea. Not to give me any sort of fame or glory... but just because then I have no one to blame but myself if things don't get accepted, etc.
Anyway... that's the update with that.
In other news... nothing much going on over here. The semester is winding down, which is SO nice!! :) I've almost made it!!! Next week I just have to teach one class and that's it. YAY!! And when the semester is done, I don't teach again until the end of January!!!!!! Can you tell I'm excited?? :)
Vicki is coming home for an interview this weekend and will be here through the week... yay!! So we've already tentatively scheduled time for coffee outings and such. Since I don't teach on Wednesday and Mark has to work, I think that will be a perfect time to get together!! Anyway... I really think that's all of my news for now. Sorry if you wanted more drama... one story is more than enough for me!!
Oky doky pokies... I'm going to head on out for now... I hope you are all doing well! :)
Many of you have already heard all about this since I've bitched on the phone... but for those of you haven't heard... :) So before I left my lab, I wrote a review on all of my work and how it compared and related to the field, etc. Fine... it's a somewhat typical thing for a grad student to do after finishing their work. Anyway, so I write my review and we submit it in June. Now, Mary (my former PI) pulled some strings to get it submitted to AJP (American Journal of Physiology). It never would have gone there if she hadn't "invited" it in. Anyway... so I wrote the paper and Dawn (my former supervisor) submitted it. Well, I never heard anything after I left. I saw Dawn in July and asked her what the status was and she said it was in decision pending. I said... okay... just let me know. Well then I never heard anything and I got busy with school starting. At the beginning of September I e-mail her to get the scoop. Find out that the paper was rejected, needs to be re-written, the reviews were bad, but it can be re-submitted. I'm just like... okay, do you need any help? She says no. So I figure... okay, she's handling it. I've got classes to worry about. So late last month I had coffee with Ange (friend from the lab) and she tells me that the whole situation is a mess. I guess it came out at lab meeting that Dawn hadn't done ANYTHING with the paper and the deadline to re-submit had come and gone. Mary was pissed because she pulled strings to get it in and Dawn did nothing, etc. And I'm pissed cause I'm sitting here going... I could have done something but I never got to see anything!! So Ange recommends that I call Dawn. So I do... and I play dumb and just ask how things are going and what's happening with the paper. I told her that I had lots of time right then (a big fat lie... but I would say anything to get that paper!) and that I could work on it. She says not to worry... that she's going to take a stab at it. Inside I'm thinking... "take a stab at it?? You've had it for 3 months and haven't done anything!! That was you 'stab'!!" So I was just like... fine... I give up. I figured I'd wait until January when I wasn't teaching and talk to her again. Well, a little over a week ago now, Ange sends me an e-mail with the most recent table of contents of Cancer Research. And in it, a competing lab (the one that stole some of my data!!) has now published a review on my protein in cancer. I'm just like... crap. So I e-mailed Mary. I was just like... should we just cut our losses now since this other review is out? Granted... that review has a different spin than our's. So we still have a shot... but with Dawn just sitting on my review and not doing anything, that isn't helping!!! Based on the publication date, we were both writing at the same time... but they actually did their revisions while Dawn sat on our's. :P Anyway... so Mary called me back and told me she was going to have a meeting with Dawn about "many issues" and you could tell that she was pissed at Dawn. So that Monday, she has the meeting... and I get an e-mail from Mary right after saying that I'll be getting the reviewer comments. This was Monday the 6th. I don't get the comments until the 7th in the afternoon. And the first thing I notice when I read through them is that we actually had 120 days to resubmit, not the 90 Dawn said we had (of course... I'm guessing Dawn skimmed the comments once, sobbed, and never looked at them again). So the due date is Nov. 25th, not October (the e-mail was sent July 25th). So I quickly sent a note to Mary telling her that important tidbit... her reply back was... "make the deadline." So yeah... no pressure. Dawn had had it for 3 1/2 months and did nothing. I had less than 2 weeks to get it done. So I tried to get stuff for school all caught up so that I could spend some time writing this paper. I then spent part of Sunday, all day Monday, and a good chunk of Tuesday working on the paper. So pretty much... 2 full days in total. And the paper is done. I got it to Mary on Wednesday morning. She is out of town, so it got faxed to her at her hotel and she's going to work on it Friday on her flight back. I expect that I will get a copy this weekend to fix. Dawn comes back Monday (did I mention that she is in Maui this week... so she was OBVIOUSLY going to "take a stab" at the paper this week before the deadline). Because the paper was originally submitted by Dawn, we have to re-submit it through her. But Mary was like... we will re-submit on Tuesday. I was just like... that's fine. I realized that we are re-submitting on a day when Mary will be in lab so that she can watch over Dawn and make sure that it gets done. So that is the scoop with that. Let me tell you, as soon as I had to start dealing with the lab again, my stress level went WAY up. I never realized how much I had calmed down and relaxed being here until I had to deal with lab people again. I'm so glad to be out of there. But yeah... I REALLY hope that this paper gets accepted... even if it's with revisions. After all of that work, I want something out of it. And I know this is really mean to say, but I wish we could take Dawn's name off of it. I'm honestly really pissed that she screwed me over like this and I had to bust my ass at the last second... and she is still getting credit for this paper even though she screwed up. I mean, in the end... my name is still first on the paper... so I get the credit. But her name is last, meaning she gets just as much credit, for the most part. Oh well. Needless to say, this is a reason why I'd like a bit of my own research money to do stuff with. Because Mary said that all I have to do is acknowledge them in the paper for giving me cells. So my name would be the only one on any other papers. No one else. And yeah... I like that idea. Not to give me any sort of fame or glory... but just because then I have no one to blame but myself if things don't get accepted, etc.
Anyway... that's the update with that.
In other news... nothing much going on over here. The semester is winding down, which is SO nice!! :) I've almost made it!!! Next week I just have to teach one class and that's it. YAY!! And when the semester is done, I don't teach again until the end of January!!!!!! Can you tell I'm excited?? :)
Vicki is coming home for an interview this weekend and will be here through the week... yay!! So we've already tentatively scheduled time for coffee outings and such. Since I don't teach on Wednesday and Mark has to work, I think that will be a perfect time to get together!! Anyway... I really think that's all of my news for now. Sorry if you wanted more drama... one story is more than enough for me!!
Oky doky pokies... I'm going to head on out for now... I hope you are all doing well! :)
Friday, November 03, 2006
Happy Friday :)
Hi everyone... well, it's another Friday. So first off... updates. :) So my computer arrived yesterday... that was WAY fast considering that we ordered it Sunday night! My computer is way cute. I know, every guy is sitting there going "cute"?? Hey, I'm a girl... :) Of course, as expected... I didn't actually use my computer because Mark had to "set it up." That lasted from 7pm until 9 when I gave up and went to bed. He was sad that it took longer than he expected and that I just didn't care by the end of the night. Apparently the problem was that they installed a trial version of Office on my computer (we didn't pay the extra $250 to order it since he already had a copy himself, so they put a trial version on... aka, more crap to remove) so he had to uninstall that. But then apparently his disk with his copy of Office was bad, so he was trying to fix that or something. I don't know. All I know is that it WILL get fixed this weekend... no matter what. Or there is going to be a very ticked off Doodle on Sunday night. I told him that the computer is basically worthless to me without Office on it... so it needs to be installed pronto. Mark was basically desperate for me to use my computer so he brought it up to me in bed and made me check my e-mail. I was just like... this is ridiculous. But whatever. I checked my e-mail, had nothing in there (shocking) and handed the computer back to him. LOL Next time I'm taking it out of the box and doing it all myself. LOL Screw this nonsense!!! And yes, I do realize that Mark actually cleared my computer of all the useless crap that they put on there (like AOL in 15 different places) and installed some of the other programs that I wanted. But part of me was like... I just want to play with my new toy tonight... we can work out the kinks tomorrow. Oh well... I think he's more excited by the computer than I am. We still have to figure out what to do with my old monstrosity. I told Mark that if he wants any parts, he needs to take them out now... otherwise, it's getting trashed. I want it off my desk by the end of the weekend... so that will be a project.
In other news... apparently Mark's phone is on the fritz since I can't call him... it just puts me right into voicemail and he isn't able to make an outgoing call. Lovely. I sense a trip to Verizon this weekend if the problem doesn't correct itself quickly.
So moving on... I will be in Cali for a few days next spring. AACR's annual meeting is in LA, so I will be there. I'm actually staying at a hotel in Universal City and then getting shuttled in by one of their official buses. Most of the downtown hotels were completely booked up already... or if there was space, it was almost $300/night. I was just like... you've got to be kidding. I only have $1500 in travel funds and the hotel alone was going to eat it up!!! So I'm staying in Universal, paying half the price. And as long as I don't have to drive in the traffic, I could really care less. Plus there will be way more to do in Universal... I've never even been to Citywalk... so hopefully that will help me while away some of the hours. Mark is going to fly out with me on Friday and stay through the weekend (at least... still figuring that part out) so I plan on getting him to SCV on Saturday to see my old home, etc. Hopefully I'm going to catch up with some friends there... working on that right now. So yeah... everything is good to go, I just have to book airfare. But I'm waiting to see what Mark wants to do time-wise so that we can book together. Also, prices are kinda expensive right now... not sure what that's about. It's almost $300 for a ticket right now... I'm just like... what?!?! O'Hare to LAX?? Are you kidding?? Considering that those are two major hubs for United (and American flies there a ton also) prices should NOT be that expensive. So yeah... we'll see what happens. Kent was telling me that I should plan an extra week of time to just enjoy myself. I love these type B's... I was just like... I'd have to cancel over a week of class!! Right now, I'm cancelling one day and that's more than enough, in my opinion. The only reason it's not more is that I'm not teaching on Tuesdays and Thursdays. But yeah... just crazy. If it was spring break, then sure I'd stay longer... but it's not. So I'll be getting myself back home. :)
Another interesting thing I found out today during coffee... apparently being department chair for my department is on a rotating schedule. I don't know if it was always that way. But Earl told me that the only reason Kent took the position was with the understanding that it was temporary. He only wanted to be there for a set number of years and that was it. So that's what is happening. I guess Jim (Frick U) will be up next. Which tells me that then it will be Paul, then Tamara, and then me (assuming I get tenured). Good to know. I'm not sure how long the rotation is... it's possible that my turn may get skipped the first time if I'm not tenured or deemed "too young." That's fine with me... at this point in time, I have NO desire to be chair. Too much crap to deal with. And I don't even know how good of a chair I will be... the way I figure it, I'll either be a really good one, or a really bad one. But I don't think I'll be mediocre. LOL I mean, my organizational skills will certainly be helpful in being chair (something that is severely lacking right now with Kent!!) and I have learned how to play the game from Mary... who may be one of the "best" when it comes to that. But I don't like to play the game... I don't like office politics, and I don't think I'm particularly good at diffusing situations... plus, if I get an idea of what I want or think should happen, I'm pretty stubborn (I know this is shocking to all of you... HAHAHA!!) So I'm just like... I don't think I'm cut out to be a chair... but maybe things will change in 10 years... we'll see.
Anyway, that is my news for the day... I hope that my readers are all well... have a great weekend and hopefully I'll write again next week!! :)
In other news... apparently Mark's phone is on the fritz since I can't call him... it just puts me right into voicemail and he isn't able to make an outgoing call. Lovely. I sense a trip to Verizon this weekend if the problem doesn't correct itself quickly.
So moving on... I will be in Cali for a few days next spring. AACR's annual meeting is in LA, so I will be there. I'm actually staying at a hotel in Universal City and then getting shuttled in by one of their official buses. Most of the downtown hotels were completely booked up already... or if there was space, it was almost $300/night. I was just like... you've got to be kidding. I only have $1500 in travel funds and the hotel alone was going to eat it up!!! So I'm staying in Universal, paying half the price. And as long as I don't have to drive in the traffic, I could really care less. Plus there will be way more to do in Universal... I've never even been to Citywalk... so hopefully that will help me while away some of the hours. Mark is going to fly out with me on Friday and stay through the weekend (at least... still figuring that part out) so I plan on getting him to SCV on Saturday to see my old home, etc. Hopefully I'm going to catch up with some friends there... working on that right now. So yeah... everything is good to go, I just have to book airfare. But I'm waiting to see what Mark wants to do time-wise so that we can book together. Also, prices are kinda expensive right now... not sure what that's about. It's almost $300 for a ticket right now... I'm just like... what?!?! O'Hare to LAX?? Are you kidding?? Considering that those are two major hubs for United (and American flies there a ton also) prices should NOT be that expensive. So yeah... we'll see what happens. Kent was telling me that I should plan an extra week of time to just enjoy myself. I love these type B's... I was just like... I'd have to cancel over a week of class!! Right now, I'm cancelling one day and that's more than enough, in my opinion. The only reason it's not more is that I'm not teaching on Tuesdays and Thursdays. But yeah... just crazy. If it was spring break, then sure I'd stay longer... but it's not. So I'll be getting myself back home. :)
Another interesting thing I found out today during coffee... apparently being department chair for my department is on a rotating schedule. I don't know if it was always that way. But Earl told me that the only reason Kent took the position was with the understanding that it was temporary. He only wanted to be there for a set number of years and that was it. So that's what is happening. I guess Jim (Frick U) will be up next. Which tells me that then it will be Paul, then Tamara, and then me (assuming I get tenured). Good to know. I'm not sure how long the rotation is... it's possible that my turn may get skipped the first time if I'm not tenured or deemed "too young." That's fine with me... at this point in time, I have NO desire to be chair. Too much crap to deal with. And I don't even know how good of a chair I will be... the way I figure it, I'll either be a really good one, or a really bad one. But I don't think I'll be mediocre. LOL I mean, my organizational skills will certainly be helpful in being chair (something that is severely lacking right now with Kent!!) and I have learned how to play the game from Mary... who may be one of the "best" when it comes to that. But I don't like to play the game... I don't like office politics, and I don't think I'm particularly good at diffusing situations... plus, if I get an idea of what I want or think should happen, I'm pretty stubborn (I know this is shocking to all of you... HAHAHA!!) So I'm just like... I don't think I'm cut out to be a chair... but maybe things will change in 10 years... we'll see.
Anyway, that is my news for the day... I hope that my readers are all well... have a great weekend and hopefully I'll write again next week!! :)
Monday, October 30, 2006
Updates on Life :)
Hi everyone!! So first and foremost... before I forget... congrats to John for passing his dissertation defense (YAY!!) and getting the heck out of this freezing cold weather. :) He and Amanda are on their way to sunny California... the bums... where he is going to start making the "big bucks" in industry... smart cookie, that one. :) LOL Anyway, a big congrats to them... although John... where are the rest of the Clark Griswold blog entries?? I wanted to hear about your adventures driving through miles and miles of corn fields!! :)
So moving on... I'm so bored right now. I should be prepping for my Genetics class this week. I have to write a lecture on gene mutation and repair... and then I get to discuss the genetics of cancer. Part of me thinks that if I can't give that lecture without notes then I should give back the PhD. Of course, the info the book has on the genetics of cancer sucks, basically. So I'm going to have to figure out how I'm going to give that lecture... I mean, Lord knows I could discuss it for a while... but I can't go TOO far off the book or else the students will freak out that they have nothing to reference my notes with. (You know... the two students in my class of 40 that actually have cracked open the book?!?!) :) But I figured that it was a much better use of my time to write a blog than work on my prep. :)
So let's see... what's new?? This weekend Mark and I went to Iowa to see the Iowa-NIU game. Wow does Iowa suck this year. I mean, I've observed as much in the games I've seen on TV. We've certainly gotten lucky a few times... but yeah. This is definitely more of a "building" year even though no one wants to admit it. We'll still make it to a bowl game... but I doubt we'll go to anything nearly as nice as the games we've played in. I just hope they go somewhere warm. :) But yeah... it was fun... a bit cold out there... and they certainly made the game interesting and looked like they were going to hand it to Northern. But they pulled it out in the end. Then we went to visit with Katie and Brad and little Andrew (who is just the cutest) and that was tons of fun. Probably more fun than the game!! :) So yeah... it was nice to just hang out for a bit again. I only wish we could have stayed longer. If we ever do that again, we're going to stay overnight. The whole driving back and forth in one day just sucked.
Sunday was a pretty typical day for us... church, then quite a boring Bears game to watch. But that's okay... I like those games!! :) Then Mark had his b-ball game... he is playing in a rec league with some of the other guys from church. I know he really enjoys it... the sucky thing is that they wanted to play in C league which is the lowest level just because they know they're not that good. Well, only 2 other teams signed up for C league, so they ended up switching to B league so that they could play. So now they're playing, but the competition is much harder. They lost by a slaughter rule yesterday afternoon... I guess the final score was something in the 70s to something in the 40s. At the beginning, we were worried that they weren't even going to score... it was that bad. Then they got into a bit of a groove and that was better. But yeah... hopefully they'll at least get a few wins this season... hopefully. :)
What else?? Oh... I bought a new laptop this weekend. Mark found a coupon (on one of his many techie sites) that was 30% off all laptops over $1300. But it had to be in conjunction with an employee purchase plan. I think I would have been eligible because Iowa has a contract with Dell and I get to use it for the rest of my life since alumni get to have the same deals. But just in case, we used his connection through his company. So yeah... we basically loaded up the laptop that I wanted with everything (Mark is jealous of my computer... which tells me it must be good) and ended up getting almost $600 in discounts by the time it was all done. YAY!! So I spent just over $1000 for a $1700 laptop. I'm pretty happy with that. :) Mark told me that as soon as I get it he will set it all up for me. Since I'm sure that I could set up my own computer since I've done it many times before, I'm pretty sure that is Mark language for "I want to try the machine out myself so I'm going to claim that I need to do this stuff." :) Of course he'll deny that to his dying day... but we all know the truth. :) We've been watching the computer prices for a while now since my computer at home is just ancient. But I was waiting for the best deal... we assumed it would be around Christmas time, but when he saw this coupon, he was just like... this is the best deal you will ever see, so you need to take it. So that's what I did. I didn't want to risk them NOT running the same deal at Christmas, ya know?? And I'm all set up to get a free upgrade to the new Windows OS when it comes out next year... so that's all good to go. :)
What else?? I got my wedding dress yesterday... actually picked it up from the store. It's getting hemmed next weekend, but I just wanted to have it in my possession for now. It's beautiful and I love it... and of course it needs to get massively hemmed. Unfortunately, it's also going to have to get taken in. It fits great in the waist but is too big right at the top. So if I hold my breath and suck in, the dress could start falling down. And THAT is obviously not good!!! So as long as they just take it in at the top, that will be fine. But I KNOW that that is going to cost a fortune... so that sucks. The thing is, if I went a size down then I would probably have been able to get into it, but I doubt I'd be able to breathe. So it's like... be comfortable, able to breathe, but take it in a ton, or no alterations and no breathing. :P
So Mark got to work at his home office today in Westchester. Needless to say, he loved his 45 minute commute in "bad" traffic and then he got out of work early!! So he stopped by and paid me a visit at 3... got to meet a couple other faculty members in my department. And then he went home. I'm sure he's home by now... the bum. :) Oh well... I can't say too much since he normally drives the crappy commute.
Oh!! I knew I had stories for you!!! So this weekend I have tried to take myself out three times. So the "best" story happened on Saturday. We were in Iowa, just leaving from dinner with Katie and Brad and I go to open my car door and at the same moment I sneezed and ended up hitting my head on the opening door... Insert laughter here, I know. I seriously did a number to myself, too. When we got to Katie's I had to get an ice pack because I already had a bump right at the top of my forehead. I have a slight red line still... and it hurts whenever I put pressure on it (which sucks when you sleep on your stomach like I do... I keep waking myself up every time I put my head on the pillow on that side!!). I am quite worried that I'm going to have a black and blue mark soon... and won't that be fun to teach with!! So yeah... fun times with that!! So then last night we were grilling and I went to light the grill (because of course the ignitor thing didn't work... those buttons are so useless) and when it finally caught, the flame flew up (very strange) and almost set me on fire. THAT was scary. The end of a few strands of my hair got "singed" I guess you could say... they didn't look burnt... but they curled up and boy could you smell that burning hair smell... all those sulfur bonds breaking. From that moment on, I was just like... Mark, you're in charge of grilling for the rest of the night!! My final accident was this morning... I burnt my finger on the waffle iron. That was just dumb. I was trying to lift the waffle out and accidentally hit the hot iron... stupid. So I have a nice little burn mark on my finger. Woo hoo!! Seriously... I think that I should just lock myself in my room the week before the wedding... at this rate, I'm going to kill myself before I get married!! LOL
So that was for all of your comic amusement.
Otherwise, not too much to report... it's a slow time on the student front. They've gotten their exams back. One student had their mommy call and complain about their grade... save me. Seriously... my p's rarely even knew when I had exams!! I mean, they'd find out my grades at the end of the semester... and if it happened to come up in conversation once in a while. But I sure as heck didn't run home to mommy when I got a bad grade and I would have DIED if she had ever called my professor!! Of course, my mom would have just told me that I obviously wasn't prepared and I'd have to fix that for next time... you know, putting responsibility on the STUDENT!! What a shocking idea, I know. But of course it was our fault that that student failed... even though many students in the class got 98's. I am pretty sure that this was the same student who skipped my class the day before the exam because she "didn't want to get confused" with new material that wasn't going to be on this exam. This student then came into my office the next week and was like... "I missed class last week, so can you explain DNA replication to me?" I was just like... you skipped class last week... and NO, I won't re-teach my lecture!! Geez, people!! Get a clue!!! Since when is this acceptable?? The fact that they ask makes me think that their previous teachers have let them get away with this crap. Seriously... unbelievable. These are the joys of teaching... :)
Anyway... on that note, I'm going to get off my butt for now and maybe do something productive. Maybe... :) I hope you are all having a good Monday and I will talk to you later!!
So moving on... I'm so bored right now. I should be prepping for my Genetics class this week. I have to write a lecture on gene mutation and repair... and then I get to discuss the genetics of cancer. Part of me thinks that if I can't give that lecture without notes then I should give back the PhD. Of course, the info the book has on the genetics of cancer sucks, basically. So I'm going to have to figure out how I'm going to give that lecture... I mean, Lord knows I could discuss it for a while... but I can't go TOO far off the book or else the students will freak out that they have nothing to reference my notes with. (You know... the two students in my class of 40 that actually have cracked open the book?!?!) :) But I figured that it was a much better use of my time to write a blog than work on my prep. :)
So let's see... what's new?? This weekend Mark and I went to Iowa to see the Iowa-NIU game. Wow does Iowa suck this year. I mean, I've observed as much in the games I've seen on TV. We've certainly gotten lucky a few times... but yeah. This is definitely more of a "building" year even though no one wants to admit it. We'll still make it to a bowl game... but I doubt we'll go to anything nearly as nice as the games we've played in. I just hope they go somewhere warm. :) But yeah... it was fun... a bit cold out there... and they certainly made the game interesting and looked like they were going to hand it to Northern. But they pulled it out in the end. Then we went to visit with Katie and Brad and little Andrew (who is just the cutest) and that was tons of fun. Probably more fun than the game!! :) So yeah... it was nice to just hang out for a bit again. I only wish we could have stayed longer. If we ever do that again, we're going to stay overnight. The whole driving back and forth in one day just sucked.
Sunday was a pretty typical day for us... church, then quite a boring Bears game to watch. But that's okay... I like those games!! :) Then Mark had his b-ball game... he is playing in a rec league with some of the other guys from church. I know he really enjoys it... the sucky thing is that they wanted to play in C league which is the lowest level just because they know they're not that good. Well, only 2 other teams signed up for C league, so they ended up switching to B league so that they could play. So now they're playing, but the competition is much harder. They lost by a slaughter rule yesterday afternoon... I guess the final score was something in the 70s to something in the 40s. At the beginning, we were worried that they weren't even going to score... it was that bad. Then they got into a bit of a groove and that was better. But yeah... hopefully they'll at least get a few wins this season... hopefully. :)
What else?? Oh... I bought a new laptop this weekend. Mark found a coupon (on one of his many techie sites) that was 30% off all laptops over $1300. But it had to be in conjunction with an employee purchase plan. I think I would have been eligible because Iowa has a contract with Dell and I get to use it for the rest of my life since alumni get to have the same deals. But just in case, we used his connection through his company. So yeah... we basically loaded up the laptop that I wanted with everything (Mark is jealous of my computer... which tells me it must be good) and ended up getting almost $600 in discounts by the time it was all done. YAY!! So I spent just over $1000 for a $1700 laptop. I'm pretty happy with that. :) Mark told me that as soon as I get it he will set it all up for me. Since I'm sure that I could set up my own computer since I've done it many times before, I'm pretty sure that is Mark language for "I want to try the machine out myself so I'm going to claim that I need to do this stuff." :) Of course he'll deny that to his dying day... but we all know the truth. :) We've been watching the computer prices for a while now since my computer at home is just ancient. But I was waiting for the best deal... we assumed it would be around Christmas time, but when he saw this coupon, he was just like... this is the best deal you will ever see, so you need to take it. So that's what I did. I didn't want to risk them NOT running the same deal at Christmas, ya know?? And I'm all set up to get a free upgrade to the new Windows OS when it comes out next year... so that's all good to go. :)
What else?? I got my wedding dress yesterday... actually picked it up from the store. It's getting hemmed next weekend, but I just wanted to have it in my possession for now. It's beautiful and I love it... and of course it needs to get massively hemmed. Unfortunately, it's also going to have to get taken in. It fits great in the waist but is too big right at the top. So if I hold my breath and suck in, the dress could start falling down. And THAT is obviously not good!!! So as long as they just take it in at the top, that will be fine. But I KNOW that that is going to cost a fortune... so that sucks. The thing is, if I went a size down then I would probably have been able to get into it, but I doubt I'd be able to breathe. So it's like... be comfortable, able to breathe, but take it in a ton, or no alterations and no breathing. :P
So Mark got to work at his home office today in Westchester. Needless to say, he loved his 45 minute commute in "bad" traffic and then he got out of work early!! So he stopped by and paid me a visit at 3... got to meet a couple other faculty members in my department. And then he went home. I'm sure he's home by now... the bum. :) Oh well... I can't say too much since he normally drives the crappy commute.
Oh!! I knew I had stories for you!!! So this weekend I have tried to take myself out three times. So the "best" story happened on Saturday. We were in Iowa, just leaving from dinner with Katie and Brad and I go to open my car door and at the same moment I sneezed and ended up hitting my head on the opening door... Insert laughter here, I know. I seriously did a number to myself, too. When we got to Katie's I had to get an ice pack because I already had a bump right at the top of my forehead. I have a slight red line still... and it hurts whenever I put pressure on it (which sucks when you sleep on your stomach like I do... I keep waking myself up every time I put my head on the pillow on that side!!). I am quite worried that I'm going to have a black and blue mark soon... and won't that be fun to teach with!! So yeah... fun times with that!! So then last night we were grilling and I went to light the grill (because of course the ignitor thing didn't work... those buttons are so useless) and when it finally caught, the flame flew up (very strange) and almost set me on fire. THAT was scary. The end of a few strands of my hair got "singed" I guess you could say... they didn't look burnt... but they curled up and boy could you smell that burning hair smell... all those sulfur bonds breaking. From that moment on, I was just like... Mark, you're in charge of grilling for the rest of the night!! My final accident was this morning... I burnt my finger on the waffle iron. That was just dumb. I was trying to lift the waffle out and accidentally hit the hot iron... stupid. So I have a nice little burn mark on my finger. Woo hoo!! Seriously... I think that I should just lock myself in my room the week before the wedding... at this rate, I'm going to kill myself before I get married!! LOL
So that was for all of your comic amusement.
Otherwise, not too much to report... it's a slow time on the student front. They've gotten their exams back. One student had their mommy call and complain about their grade... save me. Seriously... my p's rarely even knew when I had exams!! I mean, they'd find out my grades at the end of the semester... and if it happened to come up in conversation once in a while. But I sure as heck didn't run home to mommy when I got a bad grade and I would have DIED if she had ever called my professor!! Of course, my mom would have just told me that I obviously wasn't prepared and I'd have to fix that for next time... you know, putting responsibility on the STUDENT!! What a shocking idea, I know. But of course it was our fault that that student failed... even though many students in the class got 98's. I am pretty sure that this was the same student who skipped my class the day before the exam because she "didn't want to get confused" with new material that wasn't going to be on this exam. This student then came into my office the next week and was like... "I missed class last week, so can you explain DNA replication to me?" I was just like... you skipped class last week... and NO, I won't re-teach my lecture!! Geez, people!! Get a clue!!! Since when is this acceptable?? The fact that they ask makes me think that their previous teachers have let them get away with this crap. Seriously... unbelievable. These are the joys of teaching... :)
Anyway... on that note, I'm going to get off my butt for now and maybe do something productive. Maybe... :) I hope you are all having a good Monday and I will talk to you later!!
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
I'm baaack :)
Hi everyone... sorry about the delay in writing... last week was mid-terms so I spent the week before writing exams and last week giving and grading exams. I'm handing the last of the exams back today, so hopefully that will give me a bit of peace and quiet... at least for a couple days. Last week I was here at 8am basically every day because there were always students making appointments to see me... frantic about their grades. It was nuts. Between my phone ringing, e-mails, and students just coming in, I barely had a moment to myself!! So yeah... it's nice to have an empty office again. :)
So let's see... what has happened since I last wrote? Ummm... I don't know. I'm sure there has been tons of stuff, I'm just brain dead and can't seem to think of it!!! :) The wedding is basically all planned. We got our invitations this weekend... although there was a bit of a goof-up. On our response cards, they typed in to respond by July 1, 2006. Oops!! Considering that July of 2006 already passed, that's really not helpful. So we had to get those sent back and re-done. That was when I was glad that we went through Hallmark to order the invites so that I didn't have to deal with customer service myself. :) What else? We also booked our honeymoon this weekend... we're going on a 7-day cruise to the Caribbean... leaving the day after the wedding. YAY!! I'm excited, to say the least. We got a great deal on our airfare ($198 round trip to Miami!!) so that was a nice surprise. :) What else?? My dress is already in and I got my shoes yesterday so I'm going to get it altered next weekend. The lady was really hesitant to alter it since the wedding date was so far away... I was like... sweetie, I'm not talking about the waist right now... I need the height altered. LOL I'm just like... yeah, I KNOW I'm not growing any taller (unfortunately) so this is where it is. When she realized I just wanted height she was like... oh, okay. I'm just sitting there going... I don't want to wait until May and then have to fight with everyone and their mother to get an appointment to get a fitting!! So that is done... for now. :)
What else? This weekend Mark and I are going to Iowa to see the Iowa-NIU game. While I'm excited to go to Iowa and especially to see Katie, I'm NOT excited to wake up and be out of the house by 6:30 on Saturday morning. LOL Also, after a humiliating loss to Indiana, I'm a bit worried about Iowa playing NIU. Mark better not get bragging rights on this game!! But yeah... I'm sure that once I get there I will be happy and excited... but right now I'm thinking about my lack of sleep. :) It's apparently a "black out" day so everyone is supposed to wear black. I was just like... yeah, I'm going to be wearing my gray sweatshirt because it's the warmest Iowa clothing I own... and if I'm wearing black it's because my coat is black and I'm trying to stop from freezing to death!!! LOL Not that I'm not a die hard Iowa fan... but yeah... my warmth comes before wearing the appropriate color for the game. :) I'm not a crazy undergrad willing to go to the game in just a t-shirt and jeans! LOL The forecast for Saturday - partly cloudy and a high of 47. AWESOME!!! But I'm not going to complain... it could be snowing. I just wish it was closer to 60 rather than 40. :P Oh well...
By the way.. for all of you California people reading this... it has already snowed once this month here in good ol' Illinois. And it was snowing last night when I left school also... although that was really a bit more like frozen rain and not quite snow. Still a pain though, let me tell you. And no, I don't want to hear that it's 70 degrees there (or anywhere south of here). :)
Speaking of Cali, I may be going to a conference in the LA area next spring. I'm trying to figure out the logistics of it right now... the conference starts over the weekend so the current "plan" is to have Mark fly out with me on Friday afternoon/evening and then stay until Sunday. He'd fly back Sunday afternoon and I would stay through Tuesday for the conference. They have a few sessions going on on Saturday, but the conference starts in earnest on Sunday morning. So I figured that I could show him around LA (from what I know!) on Saturday and he could see where I grew up, etc. and hopefully meet a couple friends. Of course, this is all still up in the air. But since my travel expenses will be covered through the college travel funds we'd just have to pay for his airfare. So yeah... I just have to talk to Kent to figure out what I need to do to officially "apply" for the money (although it's a given that everyone who applies gets money) and then I can register and start planning the trip. So yeah... that is that.
Otherwise, not too much to report... I should get going for now. Need to look over my notes before I go warp some young minds... I hope you are all doing well. Stay warm!! :)
So let's see... what has happened since I last wrote? Ummm... I don't know. I'm sure there has been tons of stuff, I'm just brain dead and can't seem to think of it!!! :) The wedding is basically all planned. We got our invitations this weekend... although there was a bit of a goof-up. On our response cards, they typed in to respond by July 1, 2006. Oops!! Considering that July of 2006 already passed, that's really not helpful. So we had to get those sent back and re-done. That was when I was glad that we went through Hallmark to order the invites so that I didn't have to deal with customer service myself. :) What else? We also booked our honeymoon this weekend... we're going on a 7-day cruise to the Caribbean... leaving the day after the wedding. YAY!! I'm excited, to say the least. We got a great deal on our airfare ($198 round trip to Miami!!) so that was a nice surprise. :) What else?? My dress is already in and I got my shoes yesterday so I'm going to get it altered next weekend. The lady was really hesitant to alter it since the wedding date was so far away... I was like... sweetie, I'm not talking about the waist right now... I need the height altered. LOL I'm just like... yeah, I KNOW I'm not growing any taller (unfortunately) so this is where it is. When she realized I just wanted height she was like... oh, okay. I'm just sitting there going... I don't want to wait until May and then have to fight with everyone and their mother to get an appointment to get a fitting!! So that is done... for now. :)
What else? This weekend Mark and I are going to Iowa to see the Iowa-NIU game. While I'm excited to go to Iowa and especially to see Katie, I'm NOT excited to wake up and be out of the house by 6:30 on Saturday morning. LOL Also, after a humiliating loss to Indiana, I'm a bit worried about Iowa playing NIU. Mark better not get bragging rights on this game!! But yeah... I'm sure that once I get there I will be happy and excited... but right now I'm thinking about my lack of sleep. :) It's apparently a "black out" day so everyone is supposed to wear black. I was just like... yeah, I'm going to be wearing my gray sweatshirt because it's the warmest Iowa clothing I own... and if I'm wearing black it's because my coat is black and I'm trying to stop from freezing to death!!! LOL Not that I'm not a die hard Iowa fan... but yeah... my warmth comes before wearing the appropriate color for the game. :) I'm not a crazy undergrad willing to go to the game in just a t-shirt and jeans! LOL The forecast for Saturday - partly cloudy and a high of 47. AWESOME!!! But I'm not going to complain... it could be snowing. I just wish it was closer to 60 rather than 40. :P Oh well...
By the way.. for all of you California people reading this... it has already snowed once this month here in good ol' Illinois. And it was snowing last night when I left school also... although that was really a bit more like frozen rain and not quite snow. Still a pain though, let me tell you. And no, I don't want to hear that it's 70 degrees there (or anywhere south of here). :)
Speaking of Cali, I may be going to a conference in the LA area next spring. I'm trying to figure out the logistics of it right now... the conference starts over the weekend so the current "plan" is to have Mark fly out with me on Friday afternoon/evening and then stay until Sunday. He'd fly back Sunday afternoon and I would stay through Tuesday for the conference. They have a few sessions going on on Saturday, but the conference starts in earnest on Sunday morning. So I figured that I could show him around LA (from what I know!) on Saturday and he could see where I grew up, etc. and hopefully meet a couple friends. Of course, this is all still up in the air. But since my travel expenses will be covered through the college travel funds we'd just have to pay for his airfare. So yeah... I just have to talk to Kent to figure out what I need to do to officially "apply" for the money (although it's a given that everyone who applies gets money) and then I can register and start planning the trip. So yeah... that is that.
Otherwise, not too much to report... I should get going for now. Need to look over my notes before I go warp some young minds... I hope you are all doing well. Stay warm!! :)
Friday, October 06, 2006
Teacher perks and such...
So is it "unethical" that I requested a free copy of a book (as a teacher) that I really just want to replace a book I used to have?? So here's the story... when I was at Augie and took Anatomy I had to buy an Atlas of Anatomy text by Frank Netter. And I loved this book... it had the best diagrams and was by far one of the best textbooks I ever used. Okay, fine. So I get to grad school and they used that book as well as another one in the cadaver lab. Well, since I had a good copy of the book, there was no way I was bringing it into cadaver lab, so we were just going to use it to study outside of class. Well, that lasted for the first day of class. Before you go into cadaver lab, you leave all of you books and such outside of the room since you obviously don't want to get anything that may be on the floor, etc. on your stuff. Well, some idiot student in my class had a water bottle that they decided to just haphazardly lean on my bag. Of course the bottle leaked and ended up soaking my bag and everything in it, including my book. So that was the end of the book. So I ended up bringing it into the lab since it was already water damaged. I figured that at least we could pry the pages apart in there and if anything else got on it, it was no loss at that point. But that also meant that I lost my book... because once it goes into a cadaver lab, it does NOT come out. So that was the end of my book that I loved because some idiot didn't know how to place his/her water bottle. So I have always wanted another copy but I wasn't going to pay the $90 again for it. So I just went online to the publisher's site and ordered a desk/exam copy for myself now that I'm a teacher and have the e-mail and mailing address to back it up. And it's being sent to me next week. But is that bad?? Personally, I figure that I paid for my book once already, so it's not THAT bad. And eventually down the road I'm sure that I'll be teaching some anatomy courses in which I will be using that book since I think it's the best. But yeah... that's really just me rationalizing. :) In the end, we all know that these publishers are making crap loads of money off of books. And Lord knows that I have paid my dues and gotten nailed buying books for years... so I'm getting a little payback right now.
Anyway... just wondering what you all thought about that... :)
In other news... wedding planning is going well. We hope to have a DJ and wedding invitations picked out this weekend. That will just leave meeting with our potential photographer to make sure we're a-okay with that and me doing the rest of the work (flowers, favors, sending out invites, etc.). So yeah, we're basically almost done. All of those people who have to be drama queens and complain that it takes SOOOOO much time to plan a wedding. Yeah... that's just BS. They just want to be martyrs. I could have had this done sooner if I wasn't behind in school work and trying to keep up with that! LOL
Okay... I'm off for now... three day weekend this weekend because of Columbus Day... YAY!! My exciting plans... getting an oil change and new tires on my car. And then writing exams for the rest of the day. Wahoo!! I really know how to live it up on my day off, don't I?? :)
Anyway... just wondering what you all thought about that... :)
In other news... wedding planning is going well. We hope to have a DJ and wedding invitations picked out this weekend. That will just leave meeting with our potential photographer to make sure we're a-okay with that and me doing the rest of the work (flowers, favors, sending out invites, etc.). So yeah, we're basically almost done. All of those people who have to be drama queens and complain that it takes SOOOOO much time to plan a wedding. Yeah... that's just BS. They just want to be martyrs. I could have had this done sooner if I wasn't behind in school work and trying to keep up with that! LOL
Okay... I'm off for now... three day weekend this weekend because of Columbus Day... YAY!! My exciting plans... getting an oil change and new tires on my car. And then writing exams for the rest of the day. Wahoo!! I really know how to live it up on my day off, don't I?? :)
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